Rules of etiquette in modern society: why are they needed and what are the most important? Rules of conduct in society: what distinguishes a well-mannered person.

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In modern society, it is important to have good manners, to be able to behave correctly in different life situations. Etiquette has many features and is a complex science. The main subtlety is that there are no clearly defined norms of behavior, everything depends on the circumstances, time and place. The rules of etiquette between a man and a girl will make communication more enjoyable, and good manners will help to have a psychological impact on a partner.

What are the rules of etiquette

The concept comes from the French word "etiquette", which means a set of generally accepted rules of conduct, knowledge of the basics of politeness. There are several main types of etiquette:

• the ability to present oneself: the formation of a wardrobe, care of appearance, physical form, gestures, postures, posture;
• speech form: the ability to say compliments, greetings, thanks, manner of speech;
• table etiquette: the ability to eat, knowledge of serving standards, table manners;
• behavior in society: how to behave in the office, shop, exhibition, museum, restaurant, theater, court;
• business etiquette: relationships with superiors, colleagues, business negotiations.

Good manners for men

If a representative of the stronger sex has a reputation in society, he will always observe moderation in clothing. Shorts and T-shirts are appropriate for a family dinner or during a country holiday. For informal occasions, sporty or dressy attire is fine, while business meetings require a tie and jacket. As for good manners, a well-mannered man will not make it difficult to nod politely in response to the greeting of even an unfamiliar person. How to communicate with a woman, superiors, relatives will be discussed below.

Modern etiquette for women

The first rule for a woman is tact in all situations. Etiquette lessons involve being respectful with everyone, whether it's a neighbor, business partner, or stairwell cleaner. If a woman loves to joke, then it should be clearly defined in which situation you can allow a joke, and with whom you need to be serious. It is necessary to observe the culture of communication with the opposite sex. You should not flirt, flirt and make eyes with unfamiliar men and acquaintances - this is a violation of etiquette. Politeness involves simple communication without intrigue, gossip and rumors.

Etiquette for children

Rules of conduct in society exist for children. The further success, career, environment will depend on the knowledge that the child receives in childhood. The simplest methods of mastering the rules of etiquette are reading fairy tales, watching cartoons, using board games on this topic, and singing songs. The basic rule of courtesy for a child is respect for all adults, children, and animals without exception. From this, everything else flows smoothly.

How to behave in society

Basic code of etiquette for men and women:

1. Do not come to visit without a call. Only if you are visited without warning, you can afford to meet a person in home clothes.
2. Do not place your bag on a chair or on your lap. The voluminous backpack can be hung on the back of a chair. A purse or a small handbag is placed on the table, and if a man carries a briefcase, then it must be left on the floor.
3. When meeting, say your name first if you have to communicate with a group of people. You should only submit right hand.
4. In the car, the passenger needs to sit in the back seat. The most prestigious place is considered to be located behind the driver.

In dealing with people

A typical day for modern man includes many situations in which the culture of behavior and demeanor is tested: communication in stores, in public transport, getting to know colleagues, rules of speech etiquette at official receptions, and so on. As for the first meeting with a person, the impression is created by how well the interlocutor knows how to introduce himself. In everyday etiquette, the younger ones or men are the first to get acquainted. To make a good impression, you should always start communication with a smile.

How should a girl behave with a guy?

Modern etiquette for girls provides knowledge of the elementary rules of behavior with the opposite sex. At the first meeting with a man, you should not throw yourself on his neck, it would be appropriate to just reach out. On a date, you need to behave easily and naturally, joke and smile, but not be offended. You can’t not tell a man about your shortcomings or unsuccessful relationship experiences at the first meeting. There is no need to shout about the merits either, you can point out them, but in passing.

Basics of etiquette

The rules of cultural behavior are simple: the culture of speech, which has a stylistic and grammatical orientation, well-groomed appearance, attentiveness in relation to the interlocutor, the ability to provide a service to the needy, to listen to the speaker. The norm of acquaintance and subsequent communication is conditional, therefore, it has the character of an unwritten agreement about what is generally accepted and what is not. Every cultured person must know and follow the rules of etiquette, understanding their necessity for society.

Good manners

An educated person is immediately distinguished from the crowd. He is distinguished by his knowledge of etiquette and a certain manner of behavior: intonation of the voice, expressions used in speech, gait, facial expressions, gestures. This is restraint, modesty, the ability to control emotions, actions, words. To meet the concept of a secular educated person, you need to know and follow certain rules that are considered mandatory in a decent society:

• greeting, the woman is the first to give a hand to the man;
• men greet everyone standing without exception;
• when introducing a guest to other people (when meeting), they call his name, surname, patronymic (during business communication- profession);
• guests do not bring a bad mood, and if there are negative emotions, then the visit should be abandoned;
• children should not be allowed to interfere in the conversation of adults, interrupt elders, whisper in your ear;
• strange children in the presence of their parents do not make remarks;
• when making gifts to people, one should observe tact, taking into account gender, age, and profession.

The ability to dress

The rules of etiquette oblige not only to know the correct manner of greeting acquaintances and strangers, to be able to maintain small talk and adhere to decorum in behavior, but also to wear clothes appropriate for the occasion. Nothing catches the eye like colorful things. The category of things inappropriate for a man includes embroidered shirts, vulgar suits, too bright ties. Business attire should be moderately fashionable. In the morning it is allowed to wear a jacket, frock coat or jacket pair. The color should correspond to the season: light in summer, dark in winter.

The ability to dress with taste is the first sign of a woman's upbringing. The encyclopedia of etiquette contains a circle of rules related to dress, the observance of which distinguishes a real lady. Women's clothing must match the nature of the work. An image acceptable for a fashion house would be unacceptable for a brokerage. A business lady for a business lunch or a conference will not fit a too short skirt or a low-cut blouse. If the meeting will be at a resort hotel or club, you need to take several outfits that will be suitable for different situations.

How to Present Yourself

A few more common etiquette rules:

• you need to walk with a straight posture, a tucked up stomach and straightened shoulders;
• communication norms regarding greetings include polite words, but they are not always correct, for example, “good afternoon” should not be said to a person with an upset face;
• even unfamiliar men should help the ladies enter the premises, holding front door;
• the word "please" should sound at any request;
• before saying goodbye to the interlocutor, you should first prepare for this: “unfortunately, it’s too late,” and then say words of gratitude or a compliment (if this is a woman).

Communication etiquette rules

The rules of etiquette must be observed when communicating between women and men. The male representative should follow to the left of the companion and be the first to enter the restaurant. If the lady greets acquaintances, the gentleman should also greet them, even if the people are unfamiliar to him. Without the woman's approval, a man has no right to touch her. It is allowed only in moments of assistance (getting into a car, crossing the road). Smoking in the presence of another person, regardless of gender, is possible only with the permission of the interlocutor.

There are certain rules of speech behavior. So, if you are insulted in the presence of other people, you should not succumb to provocations. Get up and leave the scene. You can not ask the interlocutor for information about his material well-being, love affairs and other personal things. If you invite a business partner to a meeting, do not forget about punctuality. Special respect should be shown to people who showed generosity or came to your aid in difficult times - they were not obliged to do this.

conversational etiquette

Rules of courtesy exist in any conversation. Speech behavior is divided into written and oral forms, with the former having more stringent rules. There are several types of conversations: business, official, informal. The oral form has simpler rules, for example, instead of a verbal greeting, you can get by with a nod of the head. The ability to conduct a polite speech is to tell the interlocutor only those things that he himself would like to hear. The basic principles of conversation are correctness, brevity, accuracy, relevance.

How to communicate with an interlocutor on the phone

Compliance with the rules of network etiquette should also be during communication on the phone. During the conversation, you need to carefully monitor the intonation, since the interlocutor does not see your face and may misunderstand the meaning of the message. You should not make the caller wait, the maximum time for picking up the handset reaches six beeps. There is no need to rush to the phone either - it is better to answer after the third beep. It is customary to call the interlocutor by name, if he is familiar. If not, please introduce yourself first.

Good manners and business etiquette

The basic rules of conduct include the rules of business communication. But not only the speech component is important in contact with partners, body language also plays an important role. For example, when talking, do not spread your legs wide, keep your hands in your pockets, or stoop. Excessive gestures are also not welcome - in order not to embarrass the interlocutor, gestures should be restrained. Pay attention to the person's personal space - the distance should be no less than the size of an outstretched arm.

Rules of house etiquette

Family members should especially be polite to each other. In order to maintain warm relations, one must constantly monitor the psychological climate, sincerely rejoice at the successes of loved ones, not switch to insults during quarrels, use the words “sorry”, “thank you”, “good morning” and others for communication. It is necessary to respect the older generation and not read the personal records of your children without permission.

How to behave at the table

The main rule of conduct at the table is not to chew with your mouth open. Talking is also undesirable, especially when food is being chewed. Before putting a part of a common dish on your plate, you must first offer it to the rest of those present. You should not serve your own plate first, but give guests or older family members the opportunity to do it. When setting the table, common cutlery is placed next to each dish. Soup must be served in special bowls from the seated person on the right.

Away etiquette

Accepting friends and visiting them as guests is a good practice of etiquette form of dating. Acceptance is considered best time- dinner, but you need to invite people in advance so that they can adjust their plans. Dress code may be informal. According to etiquette, an unfamiliar guest is called all those present by name only after his own introduction. In a friendly company, you can skip serving the main course, but at a business dinner, this is unacceptable. It is important to know how to use cutlery different kind, even if the owners of other national traditions.

Video

In any society, be it a team of professionals, a youth party, or a family, there are certain rules of conduct, they are also the rules of etiquette, or the rules of etiquette. They were formed in ancient times, and in the process of evolution they improved and changed. They do not have any formal reinforcements, but they exist so that people understand each other better and avoid unpleasant situations. In modern society, there are no clear boundaries separating the rules of behavior for different groups of people, and there are a number of general rules behavior in any society.

The word etiquette was first used by the King of France, Louis XIV, who gave his guests cards - “labels”, which set out the rules for how to behave.

Unfortunately, many people do not know all the rules of good manners, and make many mistakes in behavior. In the following, some of the little-known rules of conduct will be outlined, the existence of which it would be useful for each of us to know.

1. Don't pay a visit unannounced.

It’s not pleasant when a random guest bursts into personal space. You can take a person by surprise, which will give you little pleasure yourself. At this moment, a person can walk around the house in a dressing gown and curlers, or plan an hour-long bubble bath, and he will be absolutely right, because he did not expect you at all.

2. Home clothes should be as neat as the day off.

Many people believe that at home you can wear anything. If you are expecting guests, you should not meet them in a dressing gown or stretched "pants". And in general, a bathrobe is needed in order to visit the bathroom, and pajamas are needed for sleeping.

3. Busting with decorations is bad form.

According to international rules of wardrobe etiquette, it is considered that you cannot wear more than 13 pieces of jewelry at the same time, including jewelry decoration of clothes. In ancient times, it was believed that only married women could wear expensive jewelry for evening outings, but now it is permissible for young girls to wear jewelry, even during the day. But still, the rule remains unchanged that expensive jewelry is usually worn in the evening, and young girls should not wear too large and expensive items.

4. A woman should take off her hat indoors.

Unfortunately, many Russian women are very fond of breaking this rule. A hat is not considered a decorated part of the wardrobe, unlike a hat, and these two things should not be confused. Once upon a time, a hat was considered part of a woman's hairstyle, as it was attached to the hair with hairpins, and to this day a woman can stay indoors with a hat, but not a hat.

5. To go to your seats in the theater, cinema, you only need to face those already sitting.

It is indecent to make your way through the rows with the back of your body. The man goes first, the woman follows him. If a woman comes in wearing a hat, she can stay in it, but only if she does not interfere with those sitting behind. In this case, it is better to take off your hat.

6. A woman always carries her handbag herself.

A man can only, if necessary, hold her for a while. It is the same with women's outerwear - a man can take a woman's coat only to bring it to the wardrobe, or help a woman put it on.

7. The man enters the elevator first.

The one closest to the exit goes out first. Going down the stairs, the man goes in front, going up - behind the woman.

8. A man doesn't always pay in a restaurant.

It all depends on the wording of the invitation. If a woman invites a man to a restaurant, accompanying this with the phrase: “I invite you,” then she pays. If it accompanies with the phrase: “let's go to a restaurant,” then everyone pays for himself, unless the man himself offers to pay for both.

9. While in a restaurant, it is not customary to put a bag on a chair or on your knees.

10. Do not use cellophane and branded bags from boutiques as a bag.

It's petty and lack of style. These bags only serve you on the way from the store or boutique, and are no longer used as a bag.

11. Do not dry zones open at a party or in the office.

It is better to fold it and hang it in a suitable place, or place it in a special stand, if one is provided in the room.

12. In a car, a woman sits in the back seat of a car.

If the man is accompanying, then he takes a seat next to you, if the driver, it would still be preferable to sit behind him. But no matter what place the man occupies, upon arrival at the place he must help the woman out of the car by opening the door and offering his hand. Nowadays, not all men adhere to this rule, using the motto of women - feminists: " In business, everyone is equal». In fact, no one has canceled the rules of etiquette between men and women in business.

13. It is indecent to “poke” unfamiliar people.

It is unpleasant to hear when they “poke” the service personnel, or are familiar in the team. It doesn’t matter what the age difference is, and what position in society a person occupies in relation to you. If the interlocutor has reached the age of 12, he is supposed to be addressed as “you”. The exceptions are relatives and close friends, but even with them, in the presence of other colleagues, it is still better to follow official addresses. If an unfamiliar person stubbornly addresses you with “you”, ask again: “Excuse me, are you addressing me?”. If the interlocutor did not understand you, then it would be quite appropriate to tell him that you have not yet switched to “you”.

14. Before entering the child's personal room, you need to knock on the door.

A private room is a private space, even if it's the room of a seven year old. Thus, you will teach him to show respect for someone else's personal space.

15. It is indecent to discuss people in their absence.

It doesn't make you attractive, and it can lead to a lot of problems. It is especially ugly to speak badly about close people, discuss husbands, wives, and vilify your native country. After all, your loved ones are your personal choice, your reflection, and you directly relate to the country in which you live.

16. If you are on a diet, keep it a secret.

Unfortunately, our young ladies do not know this rule at all. This is the same as complaining that you are not perfect. Moreover, for this reason, you should not refuse treats prepared by a hospitable hostess. Taste and praise the treats without having to break your diet and eat everything that is offered to you. You can do the same with alcohol - it is not at all necessary to refuse and voice the reason. You can ask for dry white wine and sip it a little, as they say, "for the company."

17. Topics that are best avoided in small talk:

Politics and religion - in our time, everyone has the right to their own personal opinion on these topics, and their discussion can lead to conflicts and personal insults. Health is very personal, and it's not nice to flaunt your own, or God forbid, other people's ailments. Money is the first and second combined. For example, it would be indecent to ask the question: “What Nice dress! How much did you pay for it?" In this case, we can say that this is a gift. If the interlocutor insists, say directly that you do not want to discuss it.

18. List of some things that are better kept secret:

Age, wealth, religion, state of health, personal love affairs, family problems, gifts, honorable achievements, and dishonorable acts. These topics can be perceived as an addition to the taboo topics from the previous paragraph.

And also, we bring to your attention an additional list of "banal" rules of conduct for modern youth, the non-observance of which brings discomfort to others.

1. Do not make noise on the street and in the apartment after 23:00.

Often you can hear loud laughter under the windows in the middle of the night, music from the car, youth parties “to the guitar”, or quarrels and fights of quite adult and adequate people. The same goes for your own home. Such actions disturb the peace of the people living in the neighborhood, and, by the way, such pranks can be punished by an administrative penalty.

2. Don't listen to music through your phone's speaker in public places.

This is your music and others may not like it. If you want to listen to your favorite music in a public place, use headphones for this.

3. Do not speak loudly in movie theaters and other similar places.

Cinemas involve public viewing, which means that everyone sitting in the hall, just like you paid for the ticket, has the same right to see and hear what comes from the screen without interference, and enjoy it.

4. Show respect for old age.

Today's youth neglect the elderly. Yes, due to age they become a little strange, but this is not a reason to feel a sense of superiority and ridicule. It was a life that made them that way, twice or three times as long as the one you yourself managed to live. In fact, they are very interesting people who have something to say. It would be good manners to give up a seat to older people and protect them from unnecessary physical activity, and also do not refuse them in conversation.

5. For young girls: do not go too far with the desire to look spectacular.

Bright makeup on the face of a young girl - a teenager looks very ridiculous. It also looks ridiculous clothes that are out of age or out of season, and expensive “adult” perfume. All this arsenal does not paint a young girl at all, but rather the opposite. Everything has its time and place, and this is also one of the golden rules of good manners.

6. Exclude obscene speech in public places.

Obscene speech is considered indecent, boorish, rude, and, accordingly, its use in public places is a bad form. Ideally, it is better to exclude it from your vocabulary altogether.

7. Get rid of the habit of being late for the appointed time.

For some people, it actually becomes a habit. They are late always and everywhere. This is considered indecent as it shows your lack of respect and interest in the event or the person waiting for you. You can be a very good professional in some field, but because of the habit of being late, you can never find a good job.

8. Show the rules of conduct in cafes, restaurants, and at the common table.

While visiting, or in any other public place, you need to use the rules of hygiene in toilet rooms. If you need to wash your hands, ask the landlord which towel you can use. While at the common table, eat carefully. Do not lay out food waste on the table, use personal utensils and napkins, do not lower them into common dishes, do not drink drinks in bottles and decanters “from the throat”, do not sit at the table in outerwear. This is permissible only in a narrow circle of the family, where none of those present will cause a feeling of disgust.

9. Do not throw garbage and used chewing gum on the street.

Also, we all love to relax on fresh air, walks, especially outdoor recreation with barbecues and a fire. Cleanliness must be observed even on the street, try not to leave garbage behind, and in general, treat with care environment. Birds find used chewing gums on the street, and their airways become blocked when they try to eat them. They are dying.

10. If you are a man, show courtesy to women, even strangers.

If the girl is carrying a heavy bag, offer to help her. Give a hand when exiting the transport, skip ahead at the door.

11. At the door, it is customary to let people out first.

This applies to everyone, men, women and children. In any collision of oncoming flows, the outgoing ones pass first.

Many of these rules really seem banal, but, nevertheless, we very often forget about them. Imagine how much our society would change if each of us followed the rules of good manners. There would be much less conflict, and even unwanted life turns. Unfortunately, the whole world cannot be changed, but you can always change yourself. And in what direction these changes will be, largely depends on such a trifle as the ability to present oneself correctly.

What is etiquette, why it was invented and why a culture of behavior is needed - these questions can often be heard from a naughty child whom parents are trying to calm down. Or from teenagers, when they begin a period of a kind of rebellion against established norms, rules and requirements. And, to be honest, many adults sometimes complain about the framework for the rules of conduct. What is all this for? Why can't you behave the way you want at the moment? Let's find out!

Etiquette

The word "etiquette" is borrowed from French . It means the manner of behavior, the rules of behavior and courtesy accepted in society.

But why do society have rules of etiquette? - you ask. And then, what exactly etiquette gives people the opportunity to use a ready-made order of behavior in a given situation:

1. At home;
2. In public places;
3. At work or service;
4. Away;
5. During business communication;
6. At official receptions and ceremonies.

Behavioral norms for a given situation created and adopted over many years, even centuries. The first rules of human behavior among their own kind appeared in ancient times. Even then, people began to try to adhere to certain customs in order to peacefully coexist with each other.

Unfortunately, today many principles of etiquette have become obsolete, obsolete. But what's wrong with, for example, if young people give up their seats in transport to older people? Or that a man will open the door and politely let the lady go first? What is it that began to happen to people if the simple rules of polite communication suddenly became irrelevant? And when should you start following them?

From an early age

It is from infancy that behavioral habits begin to form, with which the individual can then spend his whole life. The culture of communication is laid down for the child from his very birth, and the kid will take the behavior of adults - his parents as a basis. Therefore, it is foolish to require children to adhere to some kind of framework in communication, if we ourselves do not comply with these frameworks. No wonder they say that it is necessary to educate not children, but start with yourself.

As was customary with our grandparents:

1. Children addressed all adults as "you", even their own parents;
2. From childhood, kids were taught that it was impossible to interrupt the conversation of adults;
3. From childhood, the child was taught that old age must be respected, etc.

During adolescence

What's going on now c: children feel permissiveness, they try to be on a par with adults and even take the liberty of deciding something for adults. And it’s not worth mentioning the behavior of young people in public places: it is not uncommon for young people to sit in public transport, while older citizens, mothers with babies and pregnant women will “hang out” while standing. And an attempt to make a remark is fraught with a stream of obscene abuse, which the youths will happily throw out at the one who "dared" to call them to order.

It is unlikely that all these people think about the fact that they will not always be young, strong and healthy, and the time will come when they will have to listen to nasty things from the same young and “advanced” fellow citizens.

By and large, young people are not to blame in such situations. They simply weren't explained at the time how to behave properly.

We often strive so hard to protect our children from everything that we put them above all other people:

1. It is we ourselves who set an example of behavior when we try to seat our already grown-up child in a chair in public transport and do not explain to him that sometimes a comfortable seat needs to be given up to those who are more in need: pregnant women, the elderly or people with disabilities. handicapped;
2. It is we who react to an unpleasant remark either with a stream of negativity on the head of the “educator”, or we pretend that this does not concern us;
3. It is we who, by our example, show our children that our desires are a priority.

But we forget that our children will still need to learn how to live in society and put up with the people around them.

Adults

And then the kids grow up. And now they are beginning to wonder why the rules of behavior in society are needed: after all, they are already adults, they can do whatever they want. And it starts:

1. One likes to listen to music at night: well, what, this is his apartment, he "has the right." And he prefers not to think about the fact that he grossly violates the rights of neighbors to silence. Did they come to comment? Ugliness! More will be taught here!
2. Others need to be refurbished. And he wants to do it exactly on the weekend, early in the morning, or on weekdays until late. What? Negotiate with neighbors? Here's another! And what if someone there gets up early in the morning, and what if he wakes up someone's child, etc.
3. And the third, having taken a high position, completely forgets how to politely communicate with others - rudeness and tyranny has become almost an integral part of communication with subordinates.

And where is the culture of communication, tact, understanding that there are also people around?

Conclusion

You can list the rules and norms of behavior that used to be long and boring. You can justify the current lack of culture among people by saying that the world has changed - and the rules also need to be changed. Why you need to know the rules of conduct that were relevant a hundred years ago? Because all these norms teach us to respect each other: to speak correctly and tactfully, not to use obscene language, to be kinder to others, more compassionate.

It is etiquette that instills in us the first concepts of mutual assistance, the ability to keep a given word, to treat with care those who are weaker than us, to appreciate our parents and respect each other.

Etiquette is not archaic rules for the behavior of people in society. Etiquette is reasonably built communication of decent, tactful and cultured people in a civilized society. So let's always remember this.