A man wants a spiritual and pure woman why. When a strong man comes

The life of every man is a heroic journey, which he begins as a little boy and can end up as a mature man who is aware of his integrity and worth. On this path, every man must go through 5 main stages in the development of the psyche.

Stage 1. Getting rid of the mother complex

I think that there is not a single son who, becoming a man, would not break off relations with his mother for some time. Left with her, the son will never get rid of the mother complex. The son needs to listen to his own voice and let it be louder than the voice of the mother. Often the mother does everything to keep him. For example, it inspires the idea of ​​devotion to oneself, but if this idea takes possession of the son completely, everything will end up with the masculine principle being seriously affected.

The future man must avoid this and leave his mother, even if at some point such an act seems like a betrayal. The mother must endure this pain. Later, however, the son may return to establish a completely different level of relationship with his mother. But this will happen only after the son independently gains independence and learns to establish emotional relationships with peers. .

Often the mother complex is strongly supported by the mother., who does not understand what it means to be just a woman, a person, because she never felt like that - only a mother. For her, the removal of the role means psychological death, so she clings to her son with all her might as the only meaning of life. In such a situation, getting rid of the mother complex becomes a fundamental task for the son, without solving which his full development as a man is impossible.

Stage 2. Mastering your aggression

This is the time of the transformation of a teenager into a man. Aggression, the power of instinct, a huge male energy awakening in the soul of a boy should strengthen his ego. In the future, this energy will be required on the entire path of becoming, so it is so important to learn how to use it correctly. If a man is not particularly reflective, he will scatter this energy all his life, showing a teenage desire to compete in everything he does.

Another option for mishandling aggression is suppressing it. This often happens under the influence of maternal attitudes about the inadmissibility of a man's manifestation of aggression.

For a boy to become a man, he must be able to master his own aggression. He cannot become a man without understanding what it means to be aggressive, but it must be aggression, controlled in accordance with his conscious attitude. If he finds himself under the control of his own rage and desire for violence, it can destroy him. Therefore, every boy on his way to a mature man must learn to control his aggression, desire for violence and be able to integrate this formidable masculine part into a holistic, self-aware personality.

A bold look at one's own aggressive part, not clouded by other people's attitudes, allows one to recognize its negative, potentially destructive part. The young man's ego is faced with the need to become strong enough to master his own rage and consciously use the energy contained in it to overcome the obstacles that stand in the way of achieving goals.

The first fight a boy has to endure is an internal fight with his own shadow, in which concentrated suppressed aggression and potential power. At the same time, very few boys manage to win only in an internal duel. To strengthen the masculine principle, it is often necessary to have and overcome external obstacles that mobilize the will and affirm identity.

Stage 3. Finding your own image of masculinity

The masculinity that a boy shows at the beginning of his journey passes to him from his father. Wanting to be like a man, the son tries to act like his father, but it turns out to be a pathetic imitation. At this stage, the formation of one's own conscious attitude to masculinity, which differs from the father's, takes place. Only in this case will the boy be able to appropriate to himself the masculinity that will constantly accompany him and serve as a support throughout his life. Successful passage of this stage may require another father, for example, a spiritual or godfather.

The essence of this stage is to receive a blessing on one's own life from the father, liberation from the influence of the father or brother. As he grows older, the young man should leave the family, entering into a struggle for his freedom with each member of his own family or with someone else, if this someone replaces his father or brother in such a duel.

If a man has a sudden conflict at work, it often indicates that there is still an emotionally charged relationship with his father or brother, despite the fact that adolescence is far behind him.

Stage 4. Connecting with the inner woman

Few men are sufficiently aware of the inner feminine component of their soul, even less in contact with her. Jung called this sensual part of the male soul "anima". A man's desire for inner development helps him recognize his anima, but in addition, a man should learn not to succumb to his mood and emotional state and not to indulge his own whims.

The main step at this stage is to learn how to make contact with the anima, to see in her an inner female companion, a female comrade who will go hand in hand with a man and warm life. A man has only two options: either he rejects his femininity, and this rejection turns against him in the form of bouts of bad mood or temptations inaccessible to him, or he accepts it and establishes a relationship with the female life principle, and this fills his life with warmth and strength. If a man is in harmony with his inner woman, he has no problems in communicating with women.

Stage 5 Awareness of the meaning of life

The stage at which a man already has the necessary resources and strength to answer the main question of his life. This is the moment of realizing that a man is unique and alone in his search. An energetic man stops active activity in the outside world and withdraws into himself for a while. This is the time to reach the maturity of the male psyche.

A man is ready to accept his loneliness, to which he is doomed by a journey in search of an answer about the meaning of life. He is able to leave the obsessive conviction that this meaning lies only in his personal happiness.

In preparation, the book of the Jungian analyst Robert Alex Johnson "He: the deepest aspects of male psychology" (Robert A. Johnson "He: Understanding Masculine Psychology") was used. published

The Need for Responsibility

A man is a cosmic being, and a woman is an earthly one. In reality, this is expressed in the fact that a man is more guided by his mentality: thoughts, laws, ideas that he considers correct. And a woman lives with feelings, states, moods and elemental impulses, that is, with the energies of the entire astral body.

But why should a woman be held accountable? Where did such an idea come from? Firstly, a woman should be freed from material problems so that she can take care of children and the house - this is obvious and well known. But there are also more subtle, psychoenergetic reasons. A woman has a lot of astral energy, much more than a man, which is why, under the influence of suddenly surging feelings, impulses, she comes into a state of anxiety or delight, fear or joy, panic or love, aggression or peace. Many women are unpredictable for themselves.

We live in a difficult world, the astral energy of our cities is rather dirty, it penetrates into the field of a woman and can suddenly cause her a state of discomfort. In addition, every woman has the usual physical, psychological difficulties and problems. If a man is responsible for a woman, knowing how to do this, he helps her with his mentality, a clear head to slowly understand her problems, their causes, etc.

Women living without men often suffer from a lack of male sexual, cardiac, and especially mental energy. Urgent necessity forces these women all the time to look for sources of these energies on the side, which is very troublesome; sometimes women wedged into the energy of other couples, there is a struggle, energy constrictions, etc.

Some modern women have a tendency to be responsible for themselves, but these ladies, alas, often do not trust anyone, they live in constant "combat readiness". Partially, it will always be like this, a certain percentage of women will always be “on their own mind”, but it is very difficult for them to love. The appearance of a state of love often frustrates their life plans, prevents them from being independent, making a career and securing material freedom for themselves.

This is already the choice of women - no one can order them to love someone, trust their lives, stand under someone else's responsibility. Love in modern women is too often associated with suffering, and not the least of this is the inability of men to bear responsibility, even ignorance of how to do it, and a misunderstanding that this is generally necessary according to natural laws.

Women frankly admit that they are simply afraid to love and open up to men.

They often choose to craft their subconscious mind, control men, keep their feelings closed, and men in control, both in romance and marriage. It's easier to survive that way, but at what cost?

And the price is this: she herself remains without a state of love, and her man and children also live without her energy of love.

Where will such children get warmth, sensitivity and the ability to love themselves? So we have raised a generation of cool, calculating tadpoles. They use the word "love" without any awareness of its true meaning; the concept of "alruism" seems to them a ridiculous invention, and their heart center is stuck in development in early childhood at the level of children's biological egoism. On the other hand, we persistently grow their intellect and strive to equip them with skills for survival, for a career, and teach them to worship professionalism in all areas.

So, the responsibility of men for women is needed like air, because without it women will not be able to love, their feelings need at least some guarantees, and not life in fear: or not, will it break my subtle feelings or I will endure, earn a decent living, or again I will have to get into debt.

Responsibility is needed because without it, women will not be able to develop their feelings, they will be forced to restrain them; pinching feelings, they will not be able to love correctly, and not only a man.

Unfortunately, love for children in a family where a woman has no love for her father or no father at all is painful. Children should bathe in an energetic atmosphere of sublime love for their father, then their heart center develops correctly. If this is not the case, then along with the energy of the mother, her fears, pain, dissatisfaction with life get into the hearts of children for years. You can't hide this behind smiles and kind words, because children still live on the energy of adults - this is their food. Receiving such food, their heart automatically begins to painfully perceive the world, people, relationships, expect suffering from life and tries to close in advance in order to avoid mental pain.

With a closed heart, a person begins to look for where it can be opened safely, finds worlds where one can escape in order to live with the heart without fear, even if these are illusory worlds - the main condition is that this person should be comfortable there. And then there are drugs, alcoholism, same-sex love, and at best - life on the Internet or music addiction. Of course, weak responsibility for women is not the only reason for our troubles, but it is not the last one either.

We will consider in detail only one version of responsibility, namely, when a woman loves; asks a man to take responsibility for her; and they live together.

Do I love him?

How to define it? Very simple:

Without hesitation, I am ready to quit everything: work, city, husband and go with him anywhere - even to war.

He is a god, he glows; it is impossible to think of anything else.

I am at a loss with him, what to talk about - I don’t know, the language becomes numb.

I can't flirt at all; tease, manage - and even more so.

Thoughts to fuck something with him don’t even enter his head, and if they do, they are disgusting and embarrassing.

How to behave is not clear, and in general the head is spinning ...

But with all this, I just have the right, according to natural laws, to ask him to take responsibility for me. Oh, how scary ... what if he refuses? What if he doesn't like me? And where did I get what he needs? Well, it looks like I got...

Does she love me?

This is difficult to determine if I have little life experience, but I will have time to think and check something before I decide to take responsibility for it. This is a very serious matter, since this kind of responsibility - the elder for the younger - is taken indefinitely. I will have her like a daughter, and dads don’t run away from their daughters. But she can leave as soon as she stops loving me, and you can’t bind a woman with any promises - everything is according to the same natural laws.

A woman loves - while she loves, she serves a man voluntarily out of love, and not out of duty, so she is always free in her feelings and in her choice.

Well, if she stops loving me in five years, meets someone, falls in love and leaves - that's nothing, but if she doesn't leave? Until she meets someone there, if she meets, and even children have a habit of being born, they are not wolf cubs in order to grow up and become adult members of the pack in a year. How much, I wonder, will this love of hers be enough?

Women rarely love all their lives, although this happens. Usually the feeling lasts three, five, well - seven years, and during this time a woman absorbs those qualities of a man that initially aroused her admiration. If she takes a break for a year, and then finds something new in me that she can fall in love with again, then it’s good, but if she doesn’t find it?

And what does a woman turn a man into (or tries to turn) if she lives with him, but does not love? As a tool for fulfilling her desires, and she has a lot of desires, or rather, they simply do not end, especially when she does not love anyone, because if there is no love, life remains only entertainment.

Well, okay, but I need her, do I like her? Yes, otherwise why am I thinking about all this? If I didn’t like it, I wouldn’t think, but I would run away from her, and from this very responsibility, and I would have done the right thing.

Does he love or pretend?

The eyes are glowing, it looks like I have at least six wings sticking out from behind me. .

He does not argue, although we have been talking for a whole month; ready to listen to me for hours.

Sometimes he looks at me for a long time, he can’t tear himself away.

He does not flirt, sometimes turns pale, lowers his eyes, then raises them, and they flash.

He agrees to everything.

I couldn’t get acquainted, I couldn’t come up myself - I looked with all my eyes, but I couldn’t speak. I met myself.

She probably still loves, but can I be responsible for her? What does she want tomorrow? What does she want from life? What is her upbringing, childhood, parents, fate in the end?

What can a man see in advance?

It is desirable for a man, at least according to some criteria, to consider the properties and qualities of a woman, on which his future life will seriously depend. What a man can feel and realize depends on his level, knowledge of women, people and, in general, life. We will consider many questions that a man would like to answer for himself before he understands how to be responsible for his particular woman. But if he has not previously trained to scan people, did not study female psychology, finding real answers to these questions will not be easy. Here you need observation and life experience, combined with a certain psychological practice.

What are your chosen chakras? What is she like - white, black or striped? Little white, as a rule, needs a quiet, homely life, with some amount of entertainment - such as a theater, a walk, guests, a trip. Black, on the contrary, needs to shine in society in order to gain enough energy: bright guests, a noisy reception of guests at home, prestigious places that you can talk about later, prestigious clothes, interior. Well, a striped lady, which is the majority, will live in white in one chakras, in black in others.

If your chosen one:

Black Ajna (6) ("third eye") - get ready for battles, attempts to command and a continuous desire to take a leading position. Her judgments will almost always have a sharp, categorical form, opinions will be expressed in a peremptory form, and if you gape even a little, you will be commanded from trifles: “Put the kettle on” - to major decisions: “So, in the summer we are not going to cottage, but on the sea! Even on dates, instead of a soft: "Honey, I wanted to sit in a cafe ...", you can get: "Let's go to a cafe?!".

However, if she LOVES you, then, as paradoxical as it sounds, she will be very happy. if you argue it, do it your way, make it accept your opinion, in short - WIN. She needs a leader, she needs someone who is stronger than her, who she can follow. Tomorrow and in the future, I do not advise you to relax - she will attack again, such is the nature of the black Ajna, and again expect that you can win. In the black nature, struggle and strength lie deep in the basis, so a bright life is provided for you.

White Ajna - it is easier for a man to immediately take a leading position. however, there are subtleties here. A strong white Ajna is good at hiding her true attitude to the situation, and moreover, she is armed with stubbornness. When a woman with such a chakra is not satisfied with something, she will not show it right away, she can suppress her reaction, not wanting conflict, she can carry discontent or resentment for a long time, and the man will not guess anything. A month later, she suddenly explodes with discontent. which has already fermented inside, mixed with something else, and you will stand in front of your lady, batting your eyes in bewilderment: “What happened ?!”.

Black Vishuddha (5) (throat center) - get ready for intense conversations, sometimes disputes, exchange of news, opinions, etc. A lady with black Vishuddha is usually an interesting interlocutor, but remember that this interlocutor already has a lot of information and she wants to communicate a lot with interesting people. If you do not have a large amount of valuable information or are generally taciturn, the woman will be bored, she will have to look for communication on the side. In general, a man needs to be stronger and taller here too.

White Vishuddha - willingly listens to your thoughts, but if you want the lady to be “yours” in this chakra, I advise you to read poetry to her, sing songs with a guitar or play at least one musical instrument. Ideally, these poems, songs, music are all your compositions, and it is desirable that she really likes them, and not listened to out of courtesy. However, this also applies to the black Vishuddha.

Black Anahata (4) at your chosen one. It is not always easy to determine the heart chakra by external behavior. But if you take a closer look at how a woman treats close people, it becomes noticeable that she has a narrow circle of “her own”, which is jealously guarded. From these “friends”, which may include a father, girlfriend, mother or friend, a woman with black Anahata receives the energy she needs.

If such a lady falls in love with a man, she will, as it were, approach him in the astral plane (in the energy world) very close and cover him with a field from all sides. She will make a man “her own” and will protect him if he is valuable to her, if she needs him. It is not easy for her to share energy with someone: friends of a man, relatives, and even more so with other women. A woman with a black Anahata may well be a faithful wife, but she usually very persistently demands fidelity from her husband, has a negative attitude towards open relationships, considers betrayal a betrayal and is offended in earnest.

White Anahata is much calmer about “someone else”, but also reserves the freedom to communicate according to her heart wherever she wants. If this chakra in a woman is strong, ajar, not oppressed and not pierced, then it seems to radiate - you often see glowing eyes, a cheerful smile, careless laughter.

And if it is closed due to some kind of psychic trauma, fears, "breakdowns", then it is not always clear whether it is black or white. This is common in modern people - both men and women.

Black Manipura (3) (navel center) is easily identified. A person always knows how much money he has in his wallet and where what thing lies at home, even in distant, rarely opened cabinets. Seeing the ladies she meets on the street, a woman knows how much a blouse, shoes, a raincoat, a skirt on them cost, knows where it was bought and how fashionable it is. She herself strives to dress in such a way that there is something to linger on her gaze - this feeds her chakra.

In a couple, in family life, a lady will need good money, clothes, a car, comfort, etc. She cannot imagine her life without shops, shopping, prestigious attributes. A man with lofty ideals can explain to his wife with black Manipura as much as he likes that this is vanity, earthly, that one must be above this. She can take it with her head, but she needs to feed the chakra with human emotional energy, otherwise it will affect her health.

White Manipura is calm, usually does not pretend to prestigious material well-being. If the chakra is strong, not “eaten”, a person (both a man and a woman) can work a lot, study, do things in a measured mode. Providing for the needs of a woman with a white Manipura is, of course, easier. But if a man wants to advance high in his career, in business, wants to climb up, he may not have enough of this calm energy received from his wife. A wife with a black chakra is ambitious, wants more, collects energy from people for her chakra and pumps this hot energy into her husband, pushing him up in society.

Black Svadhisthana (2) loves to flirt, dresses sexy, loves to tumble elegantly in bed, etc. It is not difficult to determine it, but already during a life together, problems sometimes arise. A man liked a bright, sexually attractive woman, but he wants her to be that way for him and does not want her to flirt with others.

She agrees, she is not going to go for a walk, but where will she get the energy that our hero initially fell for? Sitting at home, making modest purchases in stores, the lady will not be as bright and passionate as she used to be for herself and her current husband liked. Previously, she flirted with everyone, met with someone, everyone looked at her and generously endowed her with energy, on which, by the way, that bright sex happened with future spouses

I have already said that in the life of every person . Each friend, relative is a person from our unconscious script, and he plays a certain role.

By observing the people around us, we can understand our inner world , do your ownpsychological growth.

Signs of spiritual development. Relationships as an Opportunity for Spiritual Growth

People don't just come into our lives. They are ours, designed to teach us certain lessons. With their actions, actions, they show different sides of us. Through pain, resentment, humiliation, they give us the opportunity to know ourselves, our unconscious, and accept ourselves. Our environment and the events associated with them are directly related tospiritual development.

Through the acceptance of another person is an endless reciprocal process. What I mean to say is that by learning to understand our reactions to the actions of others, we learn to understand the feelings of outsiders that they experience when interacting with us. And this is one of the fundamentalspiritual development personality.

People who bring pain and suffering into our lives are our healers, who make it possible to correct mental illness. And healing helps to improve our lives, giving us the opportunity to become happy.

, meditation,spiritual development - all these are the ways in which we can see the hidden in the unconscious - our facets hidden from ourselves.

If relationships have long ceased to please you, bring only pain and suffering, you are annoyed and tormented by a man next to you, but you can neither break the connection nor go deep into your soul - it means that you have not understood the lesson that this person teaches. You could not understand why the unconscious attracted him into your life, what character trait this person reflects. You are trying to change a man, to fight those traits of his character that annoy you, and therefore you cannot simply accept reality.

How do you understand that you understood the topic of the lesson and reached a new levelspiritual development of the individual:

• you are completely dissatisfied with the current relationship and are confident that you cannot continue like this;
• you realize that things will be different in the future. Moreover, you absolutely cannot imagine how it will be, the main thing is that it will not be the way it is now;
• when going through a karmic lesson, there is a feeling in your soul that you have passed the lesson: you feel differently and understand your view of the situation;
• at a certain level of your suffering and mental pain, you get the feeling that you have changed - you have become stronger, more stable, more confident in your desires and goals;
• you understand that you have your own principles, according to which you choose what is acceptable for you in life and what is not.

You noticeably change for yourself and those around you. Your stereotypes and outlook on life are changing. If you notice any of the abovesigns of spiritual developmentmeans you are on the right track.

A relationship with a man is an opportunity for a woman to begin her spiritual development, to get in touch with the inner part of herself.

The pain and suffering that appears in a relationship can be felt and experienced in different ways. If you see yourself as a victim, and perceive a man as the cause of your misfortunes, you cannotdevelop spiritually. Moreover - internally you are destroyed, the female creative nature is collapsing. As a result, external ties are also destroyed, in this case with a partner.

If you suffer, but are trying to understand how you yourself influenced the relationship, how your unconscious scripts affect the actions of a man, if you see in his behavior a reflection of your own thoughts and secret desires, there is a chance for a change. By analyzing your weaknesses and shortcomings, you can change your own influence on others, and thanks to this, the disposition of others towards you will change. Inwardly, you will begin to change, approachingharmony of the spiritual world of one's personality.

Not hiding from your true feelings, giving yourself the opportunity to fully experience them, you temper your soul. And a strong soul is strength, energy, a desire to create your own life with your own hands, change it in accordance with your own desires.

As soon as the topic of the lesson becomes clear to you, you feel freedom from emotional tension, sharp feelings. Your outlook on many things is changing: what used to annoy or cause outbursts of anger now becomes less significant. You become calmer in those conditions that previously caused suffering, discomfort, anxiety. You feel the transformation of emotions into feelings. You understand their depth.

Emotions are just an outward manifestation of true feelings. Emotions hide them from consciousness, so it can be so difficult to understand yourself.

You feel too strong feelings. They cover you with your head, not giving you a chance to see what is hiding behind them. They are so strong that they suppress self-confidence. You are afraid that you will not be able to cope with them, that you will not be able to survive this test. So you lose control over yourself, splash out your emotions in the form of rash acts, words, behavior. You are distracted by the external manifestation of spiritual impulses, and it does not occur to you to look inside yourself.

If the external manifestation of spiritual experiences ceases, they will go into the depths of the inner world, they will begin to force out true sensations. Speaking of experiencing feelings, I'm talking about controlling the manifestation of emotions. By stopping, you give them the opportunity to penetrate into the depths of the inner world, thereby revealing to you the path of contact with this world.

Do not be silent about your painful experiences and do not lock them in one corner of your soul. Go further to see the source of pain in your unconscious, realize it and live it.

Relationships are about getting in touch with deeply hidden, true feelings.

This touch tothe inner world of a person, the knowledge of his personality.Next, there should be a living of unconscious sensations, but you do not live them, and as a result, you do notstudy yourself from the inside.

Let me give you an example: the husband is about to come home from work, but he is still absent, as well as a call with a warning about the delay. The absence of a call creates the illusion of uselessness, rejection, lack of love, betrayal. Each woman experiences in her own way at such moments, but the main thing is that you cannot understand the true reason for your experiences, you are overwhelmed with anger. A struggle flares up inside - anger against attempts to calm down and pull myself together. You can not control yourself, you are trying to be distracted by household chores. When the spouse finally returns home, you break down and throw out your negativity on him.

In anticipation of the return of your loved one, you tried to hide from the heartache, the feeling of being useless, preserved from childhood. As a child, you were unable to cope with betrayal and abandonment, and now you overreact to similar feelings. It hurts every time you encounter those experiences that you could not handle as a child.

Next to a man, it is simply necessary to understand your true feelings, and not superficial emotions.

When anger appears, try to understand why it appeared. Ask yourself a couple of questions:

1. What sensations overwhelm you?
2. How does your husband treat you according to your feelings?

No need to hide from the real you

On the contrary: turn around and look your anger in the eyes. Remember when else you felt such emotions? Remember the details: where it was, who caused similar anxiety in you, under what circumstances. Do not be afraid to go into the depths of your feelings - this is the way to understand and experience your painful scenarios, the way to get closer to your spiritual side of the personality.

Painful suffering is hidden in the secret corners of the psyche for a reason - the child's psyche could not cope with them. But now you can understand them, accept them and live fully. Get in touch with the depths of your pain, fears, anxieties. Consciously experiencing these feelings, you will extract them from the unconscious, thereby correcting the psychological settings. You will be able to calmly respond to what used to cause irritation, anxiety, anger.

Lack of desire to talk about experiences is a sign of internal, spiritualcalmness.

Do not pay attention

Everyone has heard the phrase “Pay no attention” many times. Someone thinks that it should calm and cheer up, but in fact it only makes you feel misunderstood, unnecessary. There is a feeling that your experiences, events in life are indifferent to the interlocutor.

In fact, this phrase should be taken a little differently - you should not pay attention to what is happening only in those cases when it does not personally affect you. Let me give you a visual example: if a stranger breaks into your house with the intention of making a scandal, you are unlikely to be able to contain your indignation. And if they try to get into the next apartment, you will already be in a less belligerent mood. How would you feel if you heard distant screams from an apartment three floors up? You will practically not care.

The greater the distance from the stimulus, the less you pay attention to it. It is the same with the people around you - the closer they are, the more they are connected with spiritual world the more you react. They are very close to you, they reflect the facets of the unconscious, and this clings to your most alive, pisses you off. You see only negativity in the behavior of those around you. In response, you react with negativity, which in turn creates favorable conditions for really negative treatment of you.

By pushing away a person because of his annoying qualities, you are pushing away a piece of yourself, your inner world. This means that you do not know your inner world well, you do not want to know and accept yourself. Of course, many of the readers will not agree with these words, but this is understandable - the unconscious pushes you away from obvious things so that you do not reveal the source in yourself. spiritual pain, did not know themselves.

The knowledge of an ordinary person about his inner world is comparable to the knowledge of mankind about the Universe - they are minimal.

A person contains not only his personal life experience, but the wisdom of all previous generations is stored in him. minding your ownspiritual developmentyou will know your universe. Expanding the boundaries of your self-image, you gradually grow, move higher up the ladder of yourspiritual development. And the higher you climb, the less external stimuli will hurt you.

Thanks to the people who appear in your life and annoy you, unbalance you and you can change internally. They are your markers at the crossroads along which you continue your journey into the depths of yourself. If interaction with a partner brings only suffering and pain, take care of your development. And then either the person next to you will begin to change himself, or he will painlessly disappear from your life, making room for a worthy man.

All events that occur in life are a reason for reflection. You do not need to look for the reasons for what happened in the people around you, write off the unfavorable circumstances and in other ways shift the blame to the world around you. Look for reasons in yourself, study yourself from the inside, discard laziness and take care of your ownspiritual self-development- and you will open the way to happiness.

Only you yourself can influence the purpose of the force that destroys you, directing it for the good - turning it into energy for working on yourself, your confidence, the ability to receive only joy from life! The riches of the whole world are in your soul. Only you can open the secret door spiritual world and gain and peace, become happy, love and give love!

6-month program: discover your love for yourself!

With love,
Irina Gavrilova Dempsey

Recently, a client came to me, and I once again heard this.
- Well, why is he not engaged in spiritual development? I'm working on myself, but he doesn't want to.
- What does he do?
- He works all the time and sits at the computer at home.
- Does the fact that he sits at the computer bother you?
- Oh no. It doesn't develop. And I want my man to be active, work on himself, like me.
- How do you see it?
- He goes to yoga with me, meditates, listens to lectures. Let him do something.
- Why do you need it?
- Silence. I am developing, working on myself, and he must.

I'm sad. I am also silent. This interesting, smart woman wants a man to develop as she sees. At the same time, he already owes her something. I wonder if he knows about it? I'm sure he's already in the know.

So, why not really have such a “spiritual” man nearby? Yoga together. If you stand in the pose of a camel - so two, so that no one is offended. In the morning you can meditate together, and in the evening you can clear the space with the sound “om”.

But there is a possibility that after a month of such close, "spiritual" contact, the partners will hate each other. Such cases are known to me. A joint interest in yoga or spiritual practices also occurs. But rarely. It happens, of course. It is not necessary to make efforts and “recruit” a man for this. If this did not happen naturally, then a man improves himself in a different way. Through work, concrete deeds, helping other people.

What kind of men can not be called "spiritual"?

From life experience, I know two types of men who enthusiastically developed themselves through spiritual practices, meditation, yoga. But you can't call them spiritual. The first man, 30 years old, flew to India every winter, meditated and studied "progressive" methods of working on himself. At the same time, he happily lived at someone else's expense, used women's money without hesitation, and did not work anywhere for a long time. He explained it in one word - "karma". The main motive of his "development" was freedom. In this case, it is freedom and from responsibility. He still has not created a family, apparently, “karma” still works. But he flies to India just as regularly, "pumping" his "spirituality" in the Master's ashram.

The second man, aged 39, had a family, two children and a family business. Family, children and business - already oblige to responsibility. But instead, he "spiritually developed" in a special way. Evenings and weekends, he devoted to communicating with like-minded people and parsing "ancient texts." He regularly meditated and explored himself, enjoying this mysterious process in splendid solitude.

While in a relationship with his wife, the man had affairs with other women. He told them that his wife does not understand his “spiritual growth” and all the time demands something from him. And she only needed to feed and raise common children. Simple, earthly worries, of course, distracted our hero "from the most important thing." Therefore, he was looking for any way to get away from solving the pressing problems of the family and the family business. Indeed, he succeeded quite well in “delegation of authority”, shifting his tasks to other people. He subconsciously avoided full responsibility for children, for business, for family relationships. He retired and did what he wanted. What good was such "spirituality" to his children, who did not see their father? His wife, who accepted betrayal and solved family issues alone?

What does such a departure of a man into “spirituality” mean?

Fully immersed in spiritual practices, meditation, self-knowledge, many men unconsciously "run away" from the responsibility and difficulties of life. Of course, it is easier to meditate than to feed children and earn a living. Often this is what men do - "narcissists" who love only themselves. This is a subtle form of spiritual selfishness. Both our heroes belong to this category. And alas, it is almost impossible to influence from the outside. Narcissism is not treated with pills and injections.

“I do what is good for me, but I am not responsible for the rest,” - unfortunately, an infantile life position. Such an attitude will not lead a man to personal maturity in any way.

What is the "spirituality" of a modern man manifested in:

1. Correctly prioritizes life and takes responsibility. A personally mature man knows what is important to him and puts it first. Family, friends, business. For this he bears full responsibility. In parallel, he can develop himself in any way. It does not hinder anyone, but, on the contrary, helps.
2. Chooses the main goal in life. Sets one goal and follows it. Through this he develops his spirit, his mind, his emotions and his physical body. A man cannot choose several development vectors at once. If he does so, he will not get results anywhere. That's the way it's made.
3. Develops through specific activities. A man is perfected through a business that he chooses. By investing in work, he improves what he does, while developing himself. That is why it is so important for a man to always do something.
4. Does what it has to do and keeps promises. Such a man is fully responsible for his actions and for those around him. He does what he promised. Regardless of the “weather in the house” and the monthly norm of precipitation that fell the day before. Everything is simple here.
5. True to his principles. He is true to himself. In any situation, he adheres to the principles that he understands. Even if someone doesn't like it, he doesn't change his mind seven times a day.
6. Shows strength of mind and stamina. Resolves any issues. He manages as best he can. Uses all means to get the best result for himself and for loved ones. Such a man does not run away to India and does not immediately fly to Tibet in the afternoon.
7. He is generous and helps people. Kindly treats people. Helps relatives, friends, colleagues. Not to be "nice". Because it cannot be otherwise. So right for him. At the same time, such a man puts family and friends in priority.

How a woman influences a man's spirituality

We look at men through "expectation glasses". This is the image of the "ideal" man, which does not exist in nature. Such internal filters of perception do not allow to see the "seeds" of spiritual manifestations that are sure to be in every man. It is worth taking a closer look, and you will notice this very “spirituality”. To one degree or another, it is present in everyone. It remains only to see what exactly develops a man for the current period. Encourage this by discussing his business, hobbies, communication with interesting people. Listen carefully to his conclusions and realizations, creating a space of acceptance. Sometimes just listen. This will certainly help a man to prove himself in concrete actions, bold decisions and good deeds.

Both will benefit from this strategy. And it is worth remembering that behind every spiritually developed man is a spiritually mature woman.

Sofya Sulim, PhD in Psychology, transpersonal psychotherapist, family and sexual therapist, system constellator, transformational coach and trainer. Member of the Professional Psychotherapeutic League and the Russian Association of Alternative Medicine. www.ssulim.com

When you consciously embark on the path of spiritual development, you understand that the world will not be the same. Everything changes: attitudes and attitudes, actions and beliefs, the sense of oneself and the perception of others.

As a result, every area of ​​life undergoes changes, adjusting to your “new version”.

This wave of transformations cannot but affect the sphere of personal relationships - relationships with your beloved.

The truth of life is such that often such a noble impulse does not meet with due understanding from the other side. Moreover, it is often suppressed in a rather harsh form.

How grow with a partner and not feel the abyss in the interests?

Spiritual growth in relationships. Rules to Help You Grow Together

1. Spiritual path - the path of knowing YOURSELF

It is tempting to go as a couple, however you can only know yourself alone.

Another question is that the partner, like the whole environment, helps you to learn about yourself what is revealed precisely in communication and interaction.

Typical reactions, judgments, patterns of behavior appear in dialogues with people and daily activities.

When you encounter your partner's resistance regarding self-knowledge in general or regarding individual spiritual practices, at that moment you yourself are going through an experience that is important for you.

What is it? For example, in respecting the free will of everyone, including a loved one, whom, as it sometimes seems, we have the right to influence.

2. Every person develops spiritually

Exactly! Every person on earth is on the path of spiritual development even if he doesn't realize it himself.

Including the one who is mired in the world of 3D, lives by instincts, causes pain and suffering to others.

Such a person is also on his way of knowing himself and the world.

Perhaps he moves slowly, going through similar scenarios from life to life. And perhaps in this incarnation he is called to help others manifest themselves in the highest vibrations.

After all, it is in the most difficult life situations, where there is a place for violence, betrayal and deceit, that every person has a chance to express himself in a wide range of vibrations: from condemnation and hatred of what is happening to the emission of unconditional love for everyone.

However, in order to grow spiritually and transform, not everyone will need training in the form of spiritual practices. Life itself will present events that will push for the necessary changes.

Take a closer look, perhaps your other half is just from the category who does not choose training, but studies life in the process.

If so, chances are you have a lot to learn. To do this, it is enough to expand your view of spirituality and include all spheres of life in it.

Then there will be many more sources for inspiration and spiritual teachers.

4. Your experience is of value only to you.

What worked for you at all does not necessarily help others.

If you see that your partner is not ready to try what worked for you, accept his right and do not try all the methods of a good manager to "sell" your way to change your life for the better.

You came to your experience by following a unique path, life itself led you to what you happened to live.

Trust the flow of life and know that at the right moment the world will create ideal conditions for the transformation of your partner.

And if you don’t take on the role of “savior”, “teacher” and “inspirer”, but know that everything will turn out in the best way for everyone and at the right moment, then this is exactly what will happen.

5. Everyone is entitled to their own truth

There are many of us, and we are all different in our relative point of development. And they are united in the absolute greatness of the spirit.

The truth that we receive by strengthening our connection with the spirit is absolute and unchanging.

However, the interpretation of this truth depends on where each of us is in development. This interpretation is the personal truth of each.

You may not accept the truth of your loved ones, you may not like it, but if you want your joint path not to be overshadowed by a divergence of views, accept that we are only interpret the truth rather than passing it unchanged.

6. Everyone has their own method

There are many methods of spiritual growth, and these methods act differently for everyone.

The religious path is suitable for someone, psychological self-knowledge with a more scientific tinge is closer to someone, someone prefers more mysterious and esoteric currents, and someone is engaged in the same self-improvement, studying various business management models.

It is important to accept the right of everyone to make their own choice in this diversity.

In addition, methods of self-knowledge may differ between men and women.

It is easier for women to join a group and perceive a mentor. Men, on the other hand, prefer to obtain information on their own and, subsequently, teach those who are close to him.

7. You can’t force a partner to grow spiritually, you can inspire

If you want to change the world, change yourself.

By your example, your integrity, your inner harmony, you can inspire loved ones, including your partner, to follow you and your vibrations.

Influencing a person from the outside, giving reasons and arguments, you will come across a mass of arguments and arguments in response.

And minus in this intellectual fight - lack of cordiality and that which does not require words, that which fills space.

When you find an inner balance, your thoughts are in order, you accept others as they are, while remaining in the vibrations of love, you create a space around yourself in which it’s just good for you and those who come into contact with you .

If you allow loved ones to learn their life lessons on their own, supporting them with your love, you will find one day that you walk hand in hand through life and reflect more light and less shadow in each other.

8. Everything we do, we do for ourselves.

We live on earth to reveal and manifest ourselves, not someone else.

Spiritual practices are more effective if you follow them from the true desires of your heart, and not with the goal of inspiring loved ones to change.

Yes, relatives may be inspired, but this is rather a pleasant bonus in working with oneself, and not the main life task.

If you see that a loved one stands still and does not develop, this may be a mirror of your movement.

While there is something that hurts and upsets you in others, it makes sense to pay attention to what shadow aspect in you needs to be noticed?

You will be able to identify shadow aspects, release them and return the talents given to you by nature at the transformation seminar.

Continue your own path, focus your attention on bringing yourself to a state of happiness, peace and harmony, and allow a loved one to move towards this state in a comfortable mode for him.

9. Focus on what you want to attract into your life

Your energy flows exactly where you direct your attention.

At the moment when you begin to identify some inconsistencies in your partner, you are directing energy not towards positive creation, but towards these inconsistencies.

By doing this, you encourage your other half to express themselves in what you do not like about it.

There is only one way here: each time remember where you are directing energy and what you choose to see in your partner.

A good start is when you learn to notice that your partner creates fertile ground for your uniqueness to be revealed.

Often, it is with our beloved that we live moments of trauma and resentment, which gives a powerful impetus to internal transformations.

And paying tribute to these moments, expressing gratitude to your partner, you can even in the most difficult life situations find something positive that you should focus on.

And if your other half does not fully understand what you are passionate about, but generally looks positively at your choice, take the time to enjoy what kind of person goes through life next to you.

10. You have your process, your partner has theirs.

There is a tantric practice in which it is necessary to sit back to back with a partner for a long time.

As a result of practice, it is important to achieve a comfortable body position for everyone and feel peace.

Participants are faced with several observations. Someone is so concerned about the convenience of a partner that there is only one thought in their head: “How comfortable is he?”.

As a result, each movement is perceived as a signal that something needs to be changed, while the partner is simply looking for a comfortable body position, without placing responsibility for his search on anyone.

Someone catches himself thinking that the partner is selfish, thinks only about himself: he sits, does not move and does not work in any way to make it comfortable for two.

And when everyone begins to calmly seek their own comfortable position, it becomes convenient for everyone.

This is what we often do in life: we adapt to others, we reproach them for not being attentive to our interests, we think about what is happening to another, ignoring our own feelings.

Instead of this focus on your own process of finding balance and let others do the same.

Whatever your joint path with the second half, remember the main thing: next to you is not just a person whom you have known for many years, but an individual who grows and changes from day to day, just like you.

And if spiritual growth in a couple is of great importance to you, be prepared for the fact that you still have a lot to learn in the person who is next to you.

Feel free to plunge into this depth and recognize yourself in the process of comprehending another.

Look into each other's eyes, connecting the energy from the heart. And let this be the best joint practice that allows you to feel oneness with all that exists.