Design

Empathy and emotional involvement of the younger ones. Emotionally close relationships in a couple

Business is like a baby. When he has problems, it's your problems. You take them as your own.

When people say they're leaving in 2 weeks. Or not in two weeks, but already. And leave you bare-assed.
When people promise to do something and don't do it. Or they screw up something. And leave you bare-assed.
When people shift responsibility onto each other like hot cakes, leaving you with the same bare ass.

You live by these problems, you live by this responsibility, but also by the successes that come with it. This is called "emotional involvement".

Problems and responsibility are usually not visible from the outside - good luck and results are visible. And you live, basically, with problems. There is not much time for celebrating good luck - we all grow, develop, run, and each success is followed by a new stream of challenges that give rise to new problems and new responsibilities.

And at some point, emotional involvement becomes difficult to bear. There are more people, more cases, more problems and more responsibility, respectively. At some point, another person comes to you with a smile and tells you some other problem. And that's it. Stop. We've arrived. You take a step back - like Enelpers show an exit to the third position, in order to look at yourself from the side - and you say to yourself: here I am, and here is the business. Business is no longer inside you, not an integral part of you, but a separate independent entity. Emotionally withdraw from the business. When they come to you with another problem, you no longer perceive it as personal. Otherwise, you will burn right here, on the spot.

And business becomes a machine for the production of money, and the problem, the threat to business, is just an element of this machine. If this problem leads to the fact that the business will no longer bring you the minimum necessary money, you will close it. You just close stupidly, and that's it. If it doesn't, then fine. Turns on maximum rational way control, without any emotions, according to formulas. Build people for the system, not the system for people. System and order.

But stop! After all, the business of this very emotional involvement was good. And when people didn’t do what needed to be done – they didn’t do it out of malicious intent or spitting towards the company – no, they are all also emotionally involved in the company’s activities and also root for it, for its interests. They may just have a slightly different idea of these interests. Moreover, the stronger, the more important people are more important- the more they are independent, the more they have their own ideas about the interests of business, about what is right and what is wrong to do. They are fucking smart! What and valuable.

Or you try to go back. There, where everything was small and there were few problems, where one could afford full emotional involvement. Where you were young So far, no one has been able to go back in time.

Or you will go further ahead and part ways with the very people who have been the essence of the business until now. And then you yourself will leave, your time will come very quickly. And the business will go further, already with completely different people, and without any emotional involvement, of course. Management science teaches us that this is how it always happens - a company either goes this way or dies.

Here, in theory, there should be a spectacular ending about the fact that our development model will allow us, both the fish and the Christmas tree, to maintain emotional involvement without stopping development. Most likely, this is not entirely true. But we'll try. :) How exactly is a topic for another discussion.

The hopeful moment in resolving the emotional-rational dichotomy of people's involvement in the quality assurance process is the following: progress in this direction can be made before the full emotional involvement of the top management of the enterprise comes. To begin with, it is enough to get them to recognize the fact that focusing on quality is a wise and competent policy. Quick launch integrated process quality assurance very soon becomes an organic component of the enterprise. Or, perhaps, it is thanks to such a rapid start that it turns into one. This process becomes effective even before it is perceived by all employees on an emotional level. But to put it into operation, a critical mass of interested workers is required, and not always constituting the majority of the team. A similar critical mass occurs when people begin to realize that their ideas about quality do not meet modern requirements. It's easy to be bold in a crowd, but it's much harder to take the risk of being the first.

It would be ideal to involve the CEO in the quality issue both emotionally and rationally. But the basis for choosing the right path for the organization is the rational approach of most top managers. Having studied the positive experience of other organizations and realizing the benefits of quality assurance to improve the operation of their enterprise, its leaders begin to understand CQP and provide at least minimal, but obvious support for its implementation. Their emotional involvement will come later. After all, from a pragmatic point of view, it is the behavior of senior leaders that matters, not their inner state.

It is not unusual that, when it comes to senior leaders, rational involvement in CQP often precedes emotional involvement. But at the level of ordinary workers, everything starts with the latter. People suddenly realize that management intends to give them the right to make decisions and significantly, sometimes even radically expand their ability to exercise control over their daily work. This is extremely inspiring for the workers.

After a certain time, when the positive impact of quality efforts on the activities of companies in general and individual employees in particular becomes obvious, an increasing number of managers begin to feel their own emotional involvement in this process. Leaders feel satisfied with the positive impact that quality improvement has on the morale of their subordinates. They begin to take pride in the fact that they lead a competitive organization that always fulfills its obligations. In addition, they are pleased that they are becoming an integral part of the process, which includes many solemn events, during which the distinguished ones are thanked and awarded.

At the same time, the intellectual commitment to CQP on the part of the rank and file is growing. They begin to think like this: “All this is fine, but how does it affect the market value of the company's shares? Are we really listening to the needs of our consumers? What next step is required for the evolutionary development of this process?

After both emotional and rational commitment to the overall concept (easy part) and implementation mechanism (hard part) of CQP employees at all levels are achieved, the desire for continuous improvement will become an indispensable component of the corporate culture and an organic part of the mission of the organization.

CONSEQUENCES OF TRUSTING WORKERS

Keeping in mind such popular slogans as "truthful advertising" or "total transparency of organizations", it should not be forgotten that the ability of management to rely on the ability and goodwill of employees is the most important condition for the implementation of CQP.

If the company has managed to involve the entire workforce in efforts to comprehensively improve activities, then it will simultaneously carry out numerous activities in this direction. In this case, it is almost impossible to manage the implementation of many ideas put forward by employees from above. The trust of leaders in subordinates from an act of good will, requiring a certain courage, is gradually turning into an urgent need. The intellectual consent of managers to implement CQP opens the floodgates for a flow of action that sweeps away managerial uncertainty and hesitation.

During a seminar given by the authors of the book at Baby Bell in 1990, its president stated, "We can't trust our employees." The tense silence in the room indicated that not everyone agreed with this statement, but the rest of the time was devoted to discussing ways to turn the staff into trustworthy people. At the same time, with such an attitude towards subordinates, it was not surprising that the organization was disturbed by ethical problems. It became clear that changing the vision of the company president or replacing him is the main condition under which efforts in the field of quality can become a reality. Obviously, personality changes of this kind are extremely difficult. It can be considered an axiom: the more significant the required changes, the more painful they occur. It should be borne in mind: only a self-confident person is able to be a true leader. Doubting people can at best count on the position of manager.

For inexplicable reasons, we tend to trust strangers more than those we know well. Let's illustrate what has been said. In the morning, going to his office, a typical American executive gets into the car and makes sure to use the brakes. At the same time, he is not at all interested in who assembled the brake system, what language the assemblers spoke. Every time he passes a green traffic light, he is calm, because he is absolutely sure that pedestrians will miss him, since they are obliged to stop when the red light is on for them. Arriving at the building where his office is located, he parks his car in the parking lot for the executive parking lot and calmly takes the elevator to the floor where the executive offices are located. He does not even have the thought to find out who and when checked the serviceability of the elevator. Thus, all the way from home to his workplace, this leader trusted his life to dozens, if not hundreds of people completely unknown to him. But, once in completely safe conditions at his own desk, the boss begins to painfully doubt whether it is worth delegating to an NN employee the right to independently manage $ 25, although he has worked at the company for twenty-seven years!

Here is another example from the area traffic. Imagine that you are driving a car, and there are 12-14 more cars in front of the intersection where the traffic light is red. You can see the traffic light from your seat, but when it turns green, you don't move. Why? Obviously, everyone wants to quickly skip the intersection while the traffic light is open. But you are still waiting because the car in front of you has not moved yet, waiting for the car in front of you to move, and so on. In the end, the entire car queue comes into motion. But the farther you are from the intersection, the more you have to hurry to make up for lost time spent waiting. At the same time, very few manage to cross the intersection before switching the signal. Now suppose that all drivers in a similar situation know each other and trust the reactions of all participants in the movement. Then, seeing

40 green light, you will immediately take your foot off the brake pedal and step on the gas. You will be absolutely sure that all the drivers in front of you will do the same. As a result, the entire car queue will break away at the same time and a much larger number of drivers will be able to pass the intersection.

The question is what is the relationship last example has to the quality assurance process? The situation where you wait until the car in front of you, whose driver is unknown to you and whose intentions are unknown, will not move, serves as a model for the so-called micromanagement. With this form of management, no action is taken until the top management team has passed through the entire chain of command. None of the subordinates lift a finger, not knowing about the intentions of their superiors, waiting until they realize the need to act. There is no trust in each other, no one wants to take risks and take responsibility. Only routine activities are performed. It seems that everything in the company is measured and orderly, but there is a high probability of being late and not using the temporarily opened opportunities (figuratively speaking, not having time to pass the intersection at the green traffic light). In the second case, each driver knows that everyone is united by a common goal - to ensure that the maximum number of cars cross the intersection - and everyone plays by the same rules (start off at a green light). In this case, people can start acting at the same time, but this requires trusting cooperation.

By trusting subordinates, leaders actually do not risk anything. In general, employees are well aware of their duties and will never deliberately act to the detriment of the organization, because even in conversations at home or with friends they say: "My company." The sense of commitment to one's work that comes through in this expression is very real and can be relied upon. Out of the first 25,000 proposals put forward by Pan Revere Insurance Group employees, only 11 were not implemented, and none of these ideas lay idle for more than two days, according to research by quality department specialists. Any manager would appreciate the timely implementation of 24,989 proposals, while easily accepting 11 temporary failures. Similarly, in the first four years of the Quality First program, the Insurance Center did not reject any of the 8,180 ideas put forward by employees.

Staff engagement

Leading companies certainly know where the source of productivity increases lies. These are people involved in the work, motivated, having the resources to carry it out and adequately paid. The involvement of each individual employee in the work, the recognition of the contribution of each employee, the recognition of each employee's right to have a voice and a role in the success of the company - this is the source of true productivity. The source that allows you to increase it not gradually, but at times.

Involvement is the emotional and intellectual state that motivates employees to do their job to the best of their ability.

Research shows that engagement has a strong correlation with business outcomes (0.7-0.8): total shareholder return, productivity, employee turnover, and customer satisfaction.

Satisfaction, loyalty, engagement…

There are several levels that determine the attitude of employees to the company.

Satisfaction implies that the person as a whole is satisfied with the company in which he works. He is satisfied with certain things, such as salary, working conditions, training opportunities, and will continue to work here, but without putting much effort.

Loyalty means that the employee likes the company, and he is ready to work here for a long time, remaining a dedicated employee, but still not making extra efforts.

Involvement it is considered the highest level when a person cares for his company, gives all the best and tries to work as best as possible. This can be compared with the entrepreneurial model, when an employee perceives the company's business as his own, and considers it his duty to contribute to its prosperity. Thus, engagement can be defined as a state of emotional and intellectual commitment to a company that motivates an employee to do their job to the best of their ability.

Engagement Research

There are several models of engagement. One of the very first (back in 1994) the involvement model was developed and applied by the international consulting company Hewitt Associates. Other consulting companies followed suit.

Major international providers of engagement research: Hewitt Associates (in Russia), Gallup, Towers Watson.

Rankings Based on Engagement Research

Engagement measurements carried out according to the same methodology in different companies make it possible to compare companies with each other with a high degree of objectivity. Many consulting companies that measure engagement create rankings of the best employers. The most respected international rankings are the Aon Hewitt Best Employers Study (also held in Russia) and the Great Workplace Award from Gallup.

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Sensitivity to the influences of an adult reflects the desire and readiness of the child to perceive his influences and respond to suggestions. Sensitivity is manifested in the child's response to adult requests (takes the offered object, accepts help, tries to imitate or imitate the actions of an adult, reacts to praise and blame), as well as in the alternation of initiative and response actions, in the consistency of one's own actions with the actions of an adult.

The emotional involvement of a child in communication reflects the degree of his interest in interacting with an adult, the pleasure of communication, and the desire to prolong it. This parameter is manifested in the emotional coloring of the child's communicative acts, the number of distractions from communication.

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Emotional involvement in communication

The preferred form of communication reflects, firstly, the level of development of the communicative need, secondly, the degree of its tension and satisfaction, and thirdly, the nature of the previous communicative experience. An infant whose need for attention and benevolence of an adult has been formed, but is not sufficiently satisfied, mainly strives for situational-personal communication in the same way as a child who has not yet formed a need for cooperation with an adult. An infant whose need for attention and benevolence is formed and sufficiently satisfied, who has begun to gain experience of cooperation with an adult, usually strives for situational business communication. A child with insufficient communication experience and a weakly expressed communicative need more often prefers solitary activities with objects. A child who has rich experience in situational-personal and situational-business communication easily agrees to any form of communication, usually initiates situational-business communication, and plays independently with pleasure.

Thus, diagnostic situations should provide for the child's ability to choose the type of activity and communication with an adult, display initiative in communication, sensitivity to various communicative influences of an adult and attitude towards them, and demonstrate mastery of the means1. Comprehensive observation of children in natural conditions was carried out according to the scheme proposed by Yu.A. Afonkina and G.A. Uruntaeva in the manual for students pedagogical institutes, students of pedagogical schools and colleges, educators kindergarten"Workshop on child psychology". The scheme and tables of observation results were observed by us.

Purpose of observation: Determination and study of communication culture skills in children of senior preschool age in the experimental and control groups

Conducting research. Children are observed in natural conditions. The data is recorded in the protocols according to the selected parameters. When observing, we determined the following criteria for the levels of development of interpersonal communication of children:

1. High level - the child shows attention to a peer, addresses by name, uses a friendly tone; on his own initiative (without reminding adults) greets, thanks a peer and says goodbye to him; in conflict situations, does not offend the interlocutor (tries to resolve the conflict himself or seeks the help of an adult); the child knows how to negotiate, listens to the opinions of other children; understands the emotional state of the interlocutor and takes it into account.

2. Average level - the child does not always show attention to peers, does not always address by name, rarely notices the mood of another child, does not always greet and say goodbye, does not use polite words enough; equal relationships prevail; the child does not always listen to the opinions of other children, is not always ready to compromise and negotiate with other children; understands the emotional state of the interlocutor, but rarely takes it into account.

3. Low level - the child very rarely addresses by name, does not take into account the opinions of other children; when communicating with peers, an openly negative, selective relationship prevails; the child does not know how to negotiate, does not listen to the opinion of children; does not understand the emotional state of the interlocutor; the child does not speak speech patterns, does not know how to answer questions and ask them, does not know how to listen to the interlocutor, enter into a dialogue in a timely manner and end the conversation

2. Technique "Guess the emotion"

The purpose of the technique: to study the understanding of the emotional states of people depicted in the picture (Uruntaeva G.A.). We made 6 pictures depicting children who have a pronounced emotional state: surprise, joy, anger, fear, sadness, indifference; as well as 5 plot pictures depicting positive and negative actions of children.

Conducting research. The study was conducted in two series. In the first, the child was shown pictures of children in succession, asked: "Who is shown in the picture? What state is the person in this picture experiencing? When does a person usually experience such a state? What does he do? How does he feel? How did you guess about this? Describe the picture ".

In the second series, the child was consistently shown plot pictures and asked questions: "What are the children doing? How do they do it? (friendly, quarreling ...) How did you guess? Which of them is good? Who is bad? How did you guess?"

Children's understanding of the emotional state of the interlocutor is assessed according to the following criteria: high level, medium level, low level.

High level: the child coped with the task: he unmistakably names all the emotions shown in the pictures and correctly characterizes the state of the person experiencing the specified emotion; the child easily understands the mood of people, differentiates their actions, evaluates actions.

Intermediate level: the child did not cope with all the tasks: he does not always correctly name the emotions depicted in the pictures and characterizes the state of the person experiencing the specified emotion; the child does not quite understand the mood of people, differentiates and evaluates their actions not always correctly.

Low level: the child did not cope with the task: in most cases, he incorrectly names the emotion depicted in the picture and cannot characterize the state of the person experiencing the specified emotion; the child does not understand the mood of people, does not correctly differentiate and evaluate their actions and actions.

3. Sociometric analysis

Purpose of sociometric analysis: Determination and identification of mutual electoral relations of children; determination of the status position of each child in the group, determination of the level of well-being of relationships in the group.

In the sociometric analysis, we used the following methods:

1. "Two houses",

2. "Captain of the ship",

3. "Method of verbal elections"

These methods were taken by us from the book by B.S. Volkova and N.V. Volkova "Methods of research in psychology" and GA manuals. Uruntaeva and Yu.A. Afonkina "Workshop on child psychology". All schemes, tables of results, illustrations proposed in these manuals were observed by us.

Study preparation. Prepare a sheet of paper with the image of two houses (one of them is beautiful, red, and the other is nondescript, black) for method No. 1 and an image of a ship or a toy boat for method No. 2 (see Appendix).

Conducting research. The study is carried out individually with each child in the group.

4. Participant observation during problem situations

As a basis, we took the scheme from the manual of G.A. Uruntaena and Yu.A. Afonkiia "Workshop on child psychology". The proposed scheme was followed by us.

The purpose of the included observation: To study the nature of the emotional manifestations of children during the solution of social problems

Study preparation. Prepare a designer, paper dolls, envelopes with details of doll clothes, a mosaic.

Conducting research. Game method. Games: "Dress the doll", "Mosaic", "Builder". Detailed description games contained in the application.

Data processing. In all the above problem situations, it is important to note the following indicators of children's behavior, which are evaluated on the appropriate scales:

I. The degree of emotional involvement of the child in the actions of a peer. Interest in a peer, heightened sensitivity to what he is doing, may indicate an inner involvement in him. Indifference and indifference, on the contrary, indicate that a peer is an external being for the child, a being distant from him.

0 - complete lack of interest in the actions of the peer (does not pay attention, looks around, goes about his own business, speaks to the experimenter);

1 - runaway interested vlgdyady in the direction of a peer;

2 - periodic close observation of the actions of a peer, individual questions or comments on the actions of a peer;

3 - close observation and active intervention in the actions of a peer.

II. The nature of participation in the actions of a peer, i.e. the coloring of emotional involvement in the actions of a peer: positive (approval and support), negative (ridicule, abuse) or demonstrative (comparison with oneself)

0 - no ratings

1 - negative ratings (scolds, scoffs)

2 - demonstrative assessments (compares with himself, speaks about himself)

3 - positive assessments (approves, gives advice, prompts, helps)

III. The nature and degree of empathy with a peer, which are clearly manifested in the child's emotional reaction to the success and failure of another, censure and praise by adults of the peer's actions.

0 - indifferent - consists in indifference to both positive and negative assessments of the partner, which reflects a general indifferent position in relation to the partner and his actions.

1 - inadequate reaction - unconditional support for the censure of an adult and a protest in response to his encouragement.

2 - partially adequate reaction - agreement with both positive and negative assessments of an adult. Apparently, this variant of the reaction rather reflects the child's attitude to the adult and his authority and an attempt to objectively assess the result of the partner's actions.

3 - adequate reaction - joyful acceptance of a positive assessment and disagreement with a negative assessment. Here the child, as it were, seeks to protect his peer from unfair criticism and emphasize his dignity. This response reflects the ability to empathize and compassion.

IV. The nature and degree of manifestation of prosocial forms of behavior in a situation where the child is faced with a choice to act "in favor of another" or "in his own favor". If a child performs an altruistic act easily, naturally, without the slightest hesitation, we can say that such actions reflect the intrapersonal layer of relationships; hesitations, pauses, delaying time may indicate moral self-coercion and subordination of altruistic actions to other motives.

0 - refusal - the child does not give in to any persuasion and does not yield to the partner of his details. Behind this refusal, apparently, is the egoistic orientation of the child, his concentration on himself and on the successful completion of the assigned task;

1 - provocative help - observed in cases where children are reluctant, under peer pressure, give up their details. At the same time, they give the partner one element of the mosaic, clearly expecting gratitude and emphasizing their help, obviously understanding that one element is not enough, and thereby provoking the next request of their peer;

2- pragmatic help - in this case, the children do not refuse to help their peers, but only after they complete the task themselves. Such behavior has a clear pragmatic orientation: since the situation contains a competitive moment, they strive first of all to win this competition and help their peers only under the condition of their own victory;

3- unconditional help - does not imply any requirements and conditions: the child provides the other with the opportunity to use all his elements. In some cases, this happens at the request of a peer, in some cases, on the child's own initiative. Here the other child acts not so much as a rival and competitor, but as a partner.

5. Methodology "Studying communication skills" G.A. Uruntaeva and Yu.A. Afonkina

Previously, psychologists prepare silhouette pictures of gloves and two sets of six colored pencils. The research is carried out in two series. In the first series, two children were offered one image of mittens each and asked to decorate them, but they were the same so that they made a pair. The psychologist explained that the children must first agree on what pattern to draw, and only then get to work. The preschoolers were given the same set of pencils. The second series is carried out similarly to the first, but the children are offered one set of pencils, and it is stipulated that the pencils must be shared.

When analyzing the implementation of the methodology, the following parameters are taken into account:

1. Do the children know how to negotiate, come to a common decision, how they do it. What means are used: persuade, convince. Forced, etc.

2. How they carry out mutual control in the course of performing activities: do they notice each other's deviations from the original plan, how they react to them.

3. How do they relate to the result of the activity, their own and the partner.

4. Whether they provide mutual assistance in the course of drawing. What does it express.

5. Do they know how to rationally use the means of activity (share pencils in the second series).

The level of development of speech communication skills of children was given taking into account the evaluation criteria: high, medium, low.

High level: The child is active in communication, knows how to listen, understands speech; builds communication taking into account the situation, easily comes into contact with other children and the teacher, clearly and consistently expresses his thoughts, knows how to use the forms of speech etiquette. The strength of the sound of the voice corresponds to the norm, the speech is smooth, continuous, the use of unnecessary words is absent. There is visual contact with the interlocutor, a constantly relaxed, comfortable posture when communicating, easy gestures adequate to the conversation are used; facial expression indicates interest in communication.

Intermediate level: The child is able to listen and understand speech, participates in communication more often at the initiative of others. The strength of the sound of the voice does not always correspond to the norm, speech is smooth, continuous, frequent use of unnecessary words, relaxed, comfortable posture when communicating, easy gestures adequate to the conversation are used; gestures change too often, sometimes making communication difficult

Low level: The child is inactive and not talkative in communication with children and the teacher, is inattentive, rarely uses forms of speech etiquette, does not know how to consistently express thoughts, accurately convey their content. Too loud or soft voice, speech is interrupted, frequent use of unnecessary words. There is no visual contact with the interlocutor; during communication, the posture is tense, uncomfortable; complete absence of movements of the hands and head; no change in facial expression during a conversation

6. Methodology "Identification of the level of development of dialogic communication of children: Conversation on the proposed situation" (according to E.I. Radina)

The technique allows you to study the features of dialogic communication in specially organized conversations with children.

To this end, contact and trusting relationships with children are established. The conversation is conducted with each child individually and verbatim recorded. Topics for communication are selected in accordance with the age and interests of children: about friends, family, the child himself, objects and toys, natural phenomena, books, interesting games, activities and other activities). Communication is aimed at identifying the following communication skills in children: the ability to enter into a conversation, support it, ask questions yourself, use forms of speech etiquette, end the conversation.

Indicators of the development of dialogic communication:

1. Friendly tone of communication - Unfriendly tone of communication

2. Calm tone of communication - Noisy tone of communication

3. Attentive to the speech of the interlocutor - Inattentive to the speech of the interlocutor

4. Do not interrupt the interlocutor - Interrupt the interlocutor

5. Use speech etiquette - Do not use speech etiquette

The level of development of children's dialogical communication skills was given taking into account the evaluation criteria: high, medium, low.

High level: The child is characterized by complete answers, indicating a desire to enter into communication, to ask questions himself, to use speech etiquette formulas in a conversation, a friendly, calm tone in communication, attention to the interlocutor's speech

Intermediate level: the child is characterized by incomplete answers of children, indicating a desire to enter into communication, ask questions themselves, use formulas of speech etiquette in a conversation, not always friendly tone of communication, often not attentive to the speech of the interlocutor

Low level: the child is characterized by monosyllabic answers, indicating unwillingness or inability to build complete speech structures, ask questions, use formulas of speech etiquette in speech; unfriendly, loud tone of communication, the child is inattentive to the speech of the interlocutor.

2.2 Characteristics of the program for the development of communication with peers in children of senior preschool age through the game (formative experiment)

Analysis of the results of the ascertaining stage of the experiment made it possible to develop a program for the development of communication with peers in older preschool children through the game.

The purpose of the developmental program is to develop communication between older preschoolers and peers through the game.

The purpose of the program made it possible to formulate its main tasks:

1. To develop dialogical communication and communication skills of children: possession of speech turns to establish contact, ease of contact, the ability to answer questions, the ability to ask questions during a dialogue, the ability to listen to an interlocutor, the ability to enter into a dialogue in a timely manner, the ability to end a conversation.

2. To develop the speech skills of children: enrichment of vocabulary, its diversity; expansion of statements; use of forms of speech etiquette; culture of behavior during verbal communication.

3. Develop empathic forms of communication and emotional attitude towards peers; learning the ability to externally express their emotional manifestations and correctly understand the emotional state of the interlocutor.

4. Create a positive microclimate in the group, increase cohesion in the group, form a sense of belonging to the group, develop a friendly attitude towards each other.

Based on the goal set and the tasks we have identified, the structure of the program for the development of communication between older preschoolers and peers through the game was determined. This program consists of three blocks aimed at:

1. Increasing cohesion in the group, creating a positive microclimate in the group. This block includes 10 games, the target orientation of which is: bringing children closer to each other; creation of a positive microclimate in the group; increasing cohesion in the group; the formation of a sense of belonging to the group; developing a positive relationship with each other.

2. Development of empathic forms of communication and emotional attitude towards people. This block consists of 17 games aimed at: encouraging children to sympathize and empathize with loved ones, friends, peers; ability to understand emotional states people and consider them; teaching the ability to externally express their emotional manifestations; expansion and deepening of children's ideas about a benevolent attitude towards other people; development of an emotional relationship with a peer; the formation of value relations to other people; encouraging children to show attention and care for their peers; learning the ability to notice the experiences and expectations of peers and loved ones.

3. Development of dialogic communication and communication skills. This block consists of 28 games, the target orientation of which is: teaching children the use of speech to establish contact, ease of contact; the ability to answer questions, ask questions during a dialogue, listen and understand the interlocutor; teaching the ability to enter into a dialogue in a timely manner and end the conversation; development of a culture of communication: the ability to politely communicate with a peer, showing attention to a peer, addressing by name, using a friendly tone and forms of speech etiquette when addressing a peer, the ability to negotiate with each other; enrichment of vocabulary, its diversity.

In the program developed and implemented by us for the development of communication with peers in senior preschool age through the game, the main and main direction is the development of dialogic communication and communication skills (block 3). The remaining two blocks - the development of empathic forms of communication and emotional attitude towards people, and the increase in cohesion in the group, the creation of a positive microclimate in the group - are propaedeutic, i.e. additional to the main unit.

Each block contains a certain number of games and game exercises, united by a common target orientation within the block. In total, the program contains 55 games. Game material was implemented in a complex manner, with the leading value of the third block. A prerequisite was to play a game from the main block and add games from the first or second propaedeutic blocks to it, or to play games from all three blocks. The developmental program includes a set of games that were held in Tula MOAG No. 4 in the course of preparing children for school 2 times a week for 5 months. The games were included in classes on the development of speech, reading, eidetics, and were partially held between classes and during walks. For more effective development communication among older preschoolers with peers through the game, the following psychological and pedagogical conditions were created:

Creating a positive emotional background in the group during the lesson;

Supporting the interest of children during the games;

Consistent introduction of game material, starting with the ability to listen to the interlocutor, answer questions, make contact, and ending with the ability to master speech turns to establish contact, the ability to ask questions, enter into a dialogue in a timely manner, end the conversation;

To ensure mutual understanding, trusting relationships "teacher-children", "child-children", "child-child";

To enrich children's ideas about empathic forms of behavior, the culture of verbal communication;

To create the emotional nature of the teacher's communication with children, as well as children with each other;

Take care of the emotional well-being of each child.

In interpersonal relationships, I used such parameters as emotional involvement in the activities of another, emotional attitude towards him, i.e. the ability to participate, empathize with a peer, and prosocial behavior.
2.2.1. Emotional involvement in peer activities.

In our study, the following methods allowed us to obtain material on this parameter: "Mosaic", "Drawing", "Puzzle».

To assess the degree of emotional involvement, the following scale was used:

0 points - complete lack of emotional attitude to peers, indifference;

1 point - low degree of emotional involvement (short, fragmentary glances towards a peer);

2 points - the average degree of emotional involvement (the child is passionate about experiences, the activities of a friend, but also pays a significant part of his attention to his activities);

3 points - a high degree of emotional involvement (the child empathizes with the feelings of a peer, is more busy with his work, sometimes forgetting about his task).

The relationship of children in the experimental situation was assessed using this scale. The results obtained are shown in Table 1.

Table 1.

The degree of manifestation of emotional involvement, in%.

The degree of manifestation of emotional involvement	1 class	Grade 2
missing	5	3,3
low	20	18,3
average	35	43,3
high	40	35

The data obtained allow us to state that a high degree of emotional involvement prevails in the relationships of first-graders, and in the second grade the average degree of emotional attitude towards a peer is most pronounced.

During the experiment, it was noticed that children do not always show their attitude towards their peers in a positive way, there were cases of a negative attitude towards him even with a high degree of emotional involvement in the activities of a friend. Therefore, such an indicator as a sign of emotional involvement was singled out: positive, neutral and negative manifestations of attention to another in different experimental situations.

Positive manifestations we considered the support of another, complicity. Providing assistance, hints to a friend, etc. Such children defended their comrade (“Well, why, she can do it!”), rejoiced at his success (“Well, well done, I understood right away!”), Supported him (“Don’t worry, I was also worried and that’s why I didn’t succeed either” ).

As negative manifestations of emotional involvement, I attributed the failure to provide assistance despite a direct request, frustration due to the success of another, dissatisfaction, irony (“Yes, the head is two ears!”), Exaltation of one’s successes (“Of course, I did better! ”, “I did it faster”, etc.), envy.

We considered neutral manifestations that did not have a pronounced character. Such children, as a rule, were passive, reacted weakly to the situation, or simply sat with a smile, but did not take part in what was happening. I separately counted the number of positive, negative and neutral manifestations in the interactions of children.

These data are presented in table 2.

Table 2.

Expression of emotional involvement, in%.

These results allow us to speak about the same high rate negative attitude in the first class and positive - in the second class, i.e. pupils of the 1st grade were more often upset because of the success of another, agreed with a negative assessment of the activity of a friend, ironically, laughed at his failures, boasted, compared, extolled themselves.

Second-graders, on the contrary, more often defended their friend when an adult was blamed, rejoiced at the success of another, supported him.

2.2.2. The nature of the relationship to the actions and experiences of another.

Methods reflecting the nature of the attitude to the actions of a peer - "Mosaic", "Drawing", "Puzzle".

To assess the nature of attitudes towards peers, we identified 2 types:

1 - the nature of the relationship according to the type of complicity, empathy: this included adequate reactions to the praise and censure of a friend (joy to success and chagrin at another's mistake, protection), offering one's help ("I can give you a pencil if you want!"), advice (" You can draw orange instead of red”), as well as active positive participation in the activities of a friend, providing support (Yes, this is a difficult task! But don’t be upset, next time you will definitely succeed!”);

2 - the nature of the relationship according to the type of competitiveness: children with this type of relationship to a peer gave inadequate reactions to the praise of another (were upset) and to the censure of a peer (agreed with a negative assessment), ignored the difficulties of a friend, did not provide assistance to another who got into a difficult situation when performing tasks, even with a direct request for help, often because of the fear that a friend will complete the task better, faster, because of the unwillingness to lose.

The results for these indicators are shown in Table 3.

Table 3.

The nature of the relationship to peers, in%.

As can be seen from Table 3, both in the first and second grades, the competitive nature of the attitude towards a peer was equally pronounced, which means that children more often showed inadequate reactions to the praise and blame of another, failure to provide assistance, etc. Prosocial actions sometimes turned out to be due to the fear that a friend would be more successful (collect faster, draw better).

2.2.3. Prosocial behavior of children.

This indicator of interpersonal relations of children was revealed in the methods "Gifts", "Drawing", "Puzzle".

Prosociality of behavior is expressed in the child's ability to perform actions in favor of another. Such actions are aimed at a peer, which indicates the priority of the interests of a friend, the perception of his experiences as his own. Such a child either gives all his gifts to others, or shares his things, gives his friend a turn, pencils, etc., takes initiative in difficult situations, provides assistance, support.

When a child does not know how to act in favor of another, when he does not want to share and leaves all the gifts to himself, does not yield at all or yields, but only for his own benefit, does not help and does not pay attention to the helplessness of a friend, when he is concentrated only on his task - this is may indicate the priority of one's own experiences and the focus of actions on oneself.

Thus, in the parameter of prosocial behavior, 2 indicators are distinguished:

The results obtained for two types of orientation are presented in Table 4.

Table 4

Prosociality of children's behavior, in%.

Thus, in the first class we have a greater degree of action directed toward oneself, while in the third class an increase is observed in terms of the direction of actions toward a peer. This may indicate that for first-graders, their own activities and experiences are more significant, and for third-graders, the activities and experiences of a friend are more significant.

In the first and second grades, there was some instability in the decision to dispose of gifts and susceptibility to external influences of the fact of making a decision. At the beginning, such children said: “I really need erasers!”, “I will definitely eat sweets, they are delicious!” give one", "Maybe I'll give it to my brother / sister", "If they ask, then of course I will give it." As a result, socially approved actions were committed in these and some other situations.
2.2.4. Relationship types.

1. Competitive type of relationship.

A characteristic feature of the behavior of such children is that they solve most problem situations in their favor. There is a demonstration of one's advantages (“Look how beautiful I am!”), a comparison with self-exaltation (“I think I did better!”), irony about the abilities of a peer (“Yes, the head is two ears!”). Actions in general

directed at themselves, in rare cases - at a friend. At the same time, interest in him is mostly expressed weakly, and emotional involvement is predominantly negative.

Often, the reaction to the praise and blame of another is inadequate - the child supports the experimenter in a negative assessment ("Really, he does not succeed at all"), does not agree ("It seems to me that he does it badly and very slowly"), or defiantly does not pay attention. attention to the praise of a peer, turns his head away. Actions in favor of a friend are sometimes performed for their own benefit ("I'll give you a pencil, but you give me a green one, I'll need it"). Such children may not pay attention to the request for help.

They are happy to play the role of a verifier, they scrupulously compare each element of a friend’s drawing with a sample and make a lot of comments about this (“Something is crooked. How many petals you have, look - this is not the case. And, in general, the stem turns to the side. Your drawing is not at all similar and not very neat"). The introduction of a competitive motive in solving tasks exacerbates the desire to compete. When the children were told that the task was being completed on time, they tried their best to do it faster and better, which they tried to emphasize (having completed the task somewhat more successfully than a friend, Anton jumped for a long time and shouted: "Hurrah! I won! I'm faster!").

2. Sympathetic type of relationship.

The main feature of the behavior of such children is the presence of a sufficiently high degree of emotional and practical involvement in the activities of another, which has a positive connotation. These children sympathize with their peers, emotionally support him (“Don’t worry when you worry - your hands are shaking, that’s why you don’t get it right, it happened to me too!”), Give advice (“Try to swap these parts, and you don’t rush , think carefully"), seek to help ("I've already assembled such a puzzle. You know how I trained. If you want, I'll help you"). Actions and interest in most cases are directed to a peer.

Such guys relate adequately to the censure and praise of their peers, rejoice at his success (“Yes, well done, I said that everything will work out”) and are upset by mistakes (“You were a little unlucky, they probably gave you little time”).

Sometimes they compare and evaluate the results of activities, but do not affect the personality of a peer. Participation in the competition of these children is of little interest, often by the end of the task they generally forget about the condition of time, as well as about the role of the inspector. Mostly they pay attention to what worries a friend, than to whether the task was completed correctly and in what time.

3. Unstable type of relationship.

A distinctive characteristic of children with this type of relationship to their peers is that they do not have a specific strategy of behavior in the experiment. It constantly fluctuates - in some cases, the behavior is sympathetic, sympathetic, in others it is competitive. There is a constant maneuvering and adjustment to the situation and peers, as evidenced by the predominant number of actions aimed at a friend.

For example, often such children, when censuring the actions of their peers by adults, agree with a negative assessment, but after the praise or success of a friend, they rejoice for him.

These children watch their peers with interest, but never forget about their own task, have a tendency to think over a decision. They are in no hurry to express or emotionally color their attitude towards another (shrug their shoulders in response, make an uncertain look), the involvement here has an unstable expression.

Perhaps this type of relationship to a peer for some part of the children would be more correctly called labile, because. their behavior was often dictated not so much by uncertainty as to what to do, but by caution and sensitivity, which allowed them to restructure their behavior in accordance with

the requirements of the situation.

So, for example, these children share and offer their help to a friend, counting on the fact that a peer in a similar situation will act towards him in the same way.

4. Normative type of relationship.

The main sign of this type of relationship is the orientation towards compliance with various rules and norms (educational, behavioral, friendly - how you can and how you can not do it). These guys evaluate the results of their friend’s activities in terms of educational criteria (“You drew something crookedly. You need to draw in the middle of the sheet, and not so high. Remember, the teacher told us?”). They are characterized by an appeal to the sample and comparison with it (“The sample is not drawn at all like that!”), Clarification from an adult how to do it “more correctly”, which cannot be allowed (“Does the drawing need to be made exactly the same size or can you draw more?” ). In other words, they seem to feel the boundaries within which they are allowed to operate. From the same point of view, they evaluate the activities of their peers, they look at how carefully he fulfills various requirements.

As a rule, students with this type of attitude are emotionally strongly involved in the activities of another, the severity of such interest is predominantly positive. But the direction of actions and the nature of the attitude towards a peer are unstable and change depending on how a peer acts, how “correctly”.

They can evaluate an act from the point of view of morality, which is often realized in prosocial behavior (support a friend in difficult times, help him).

So, Alina, when asked how she would dispose of the sweets - whether she would eat them herself or share them with someone, answered: “It’s not good to be greedy, of course I will share, I can give them all - it’s better than being greedy and leave everything to yourself. Sweets then will not bring any joy.

Age dynamics individual types relations.

The above described 4 types of individual attitudes towards peers, identified on the material of the experiment. Let us turn to a comparative table expressing the quantitative ratio of individual types in grades 1 and 2.

The number of children showing different attitudes towards their peers e different

age groups, in %

As can be seen from the table, initial stage education in the lower grades is dominated by the number of children with a competitive type of attitude towards their peers.

The smallest expression here has an unstable type, the number of students with a sympathetic and normative type is approximately the same.

At the end of training in primary school the predominant type of relationship is also competitive, but the number of children here is somewhat reduced due to the increase in sympathetic and unstable types, the latter at this age are equally common. There are practically no indicators of the normative type.

Thus, the number of children with different type attitudes towards peers as a whole corresponds to the age dynamics described above.

Conclusions on the second chapter.

1. In the relationship of first-graders in the experimental situation, a high degree of emotional involvement prevails; in the relationship of third-graders, the average degree of emotional attitude towards a peer is most pronounced.

2. In the first grade, emotional involvement is predominantly negative, i.e. more common is grief because of the success of another, adult support in a negative assessment of the activities of a friend, boasting, comparison with self-exaltation. In the second grade, on the contrary, a positive expression of the emotional attitude is more often detected, i.e. children protect a friend, rejoice in his success, emotionally support, give positive assessments.

4. In the first grade, such an indicator of prosocial behavior as the focus of actions on oneself was most pronounced, while in the second grade, on the contrary, more actions are performed aimed at a peer. This may indicate that first-graders prioritize their own activities and interests, while second-graders greater value has the activities and experiences of a comrade.

Conclusion.

The main task of our work was to identify and study the features of interpersonal relationships and communication junior schoolchildren and the dynamics of these features throughout the period of primary education.

To do this, we used the observation, the results of which showed that:

1. Contacts of children of the 1st grade are often pointless and meaningless. The main task of these interactions is physical unloading, rest. While in the 2nd grade they have a subject, they are meaningful and stable.

2. There are few stable relationships, there are few friendly couples in the 1st grade, the boundary between the members of the educational team and other people is poorly differentiated. In the second grade, there are many friendly couples, children who sympathize with each other. There is a sense of community, the integrity of the educational team. The children are aware of the place of each student in the classroom hierarchy.

3. The direction of actions and behavior of first-graders in most cases are dictated by the desire to attract the attention of the teacher and focus on his opinion. It can be said that students of the 2nd grade in their actions are more guided by their peers, by building relationships with them.

4. Despite some self-centeredness and orientation of first-graders to the teacher, they can both offer their help to their peers and ask for it. But in such a situation, either a peer praised by the teacher or a friend is most preferable. Second-graders willingly help each other, in their desire to help, they can even violate the educational norm (for example, to prompt).

5. First-graders are more inclined to carefully observe educational norms and rules, focus on them in building their own behavior and assessing the behavior of another. In the second grade, children are not so much guided by the rule. They can already assess the abilities and capabilities of another by comparing themselves with him.

These facts may indicate a pronounced age-related dynamics of interpersonal relations throughout the primary school age. IN in general terms it can be viewed as a movement from pronounced competitiveness to cooperation and mutual assistance, from isolation and opposition to a peer to connection and community with him.

If in the first grade another child is an object of comparison and self-affirmation, then for a second grader a peer is a partner in communication and joint activities.

This trend is confirmed by the following facts.

1. In the relationship of first-graders in the experimental situation, a high degree of emotional involvement prevails; in the relationship of second-graders, the average degree of emotional attitude towards a peer is most pronounced.

2. In the first grade, emotional involvement is predominantly negative, i.e. more often there was chagrin because of the success of another, support from an adult in a negative assessment of the activities of a comrade, boasting, etc. In the second grade, on the contrary, a positive expression of the emotional attitude is more common, i.e. children protect a friend, rejoice at his success, emotionally support, give positive assessments.

3. Both in the first and second grades, the competitive nature of the attitude towards a peer was equally pronounced, which means that children more often demonstrate inadequate reactions to the praise and blame of another, failure to provide assistance, etc. Prosocial actions sometimes turn out to be due to the fear that a friend will be more successful (collect faster, draw better).

This may indicate that for first-graders, their own activities and interests are more important, and for second-graders, the activities and experiences of a friend are more important.

Comparison of facts allows us to draw analogies between the relationships and communication of children 4-6 and 6.5-8 years old and talk about some cyclicality in the development of relationships at these ages, which consists in the transition from a detached relationship to a partner to communication and community with him. Here, the development of awareness of the “image of oneself” is also manifested. The movement goes from isolation, separation of oneself, from awareness of one's capabilities through opposition with others to community and unity, to friendship and connection, which has great importance for self-realization.

1. A distinctive feature of communication and interactions of children of primary school age is their orientation towards the adoption of norms of behavior. At the beginning of primary school age, normative behavior is guided by the assessment of an adult; by the end of this age, it is internalized and becomes an internal regulator of behavior.

2. Throughout the primary school age, interpersonal relationships have their own dynamics, which consists in moving from the competitive nature of the relationship to a peer and focus on oneself to community with a peer, to increased selectivity and personal focus on a peer.

3. At each age stage of primary school age, individual variants of attitude towards a peer are found. At the beginning of education in the lower grades of the school, the competitive type of attitude is most common, by the end - competitive, complicit, unstable types of attitude are represented approximately equally, the number of children with the normative type decreases, which is confirmed by the age dynamics described above.

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