Pumping stations

How to get over a person faster. How to get sick quickly at home

We are constantly busy with something: some study, others work, and others develop own business. All these activities take a lot of time and effort, so colds sometimes taken as an opportunity to relax. And some people are looking for ways to lie in bed for several days and never leave the house. In this article, we will tell you how to quickly get sick for a week and arrange a weekend for yourself.

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How to get sick for a week?

First of all, it is important to decide whether you are ready to really get sick for a while. Or you can just take some tricks to avoid going to work or school. For example, you can deceive your relatives and not go to school if you press the thermometer to the radiator or put it in a glass of hot water. In this case, the thermometer will show a high temperature.

The doctor can also be deceived by showing him a thermometer, where there will be an increased body temperature - for this you first need to rub the armpits with salt. A high body temperature can be obtained by eating a little pencil lead or a piece of sugar, on which a drop of iodine is dropped. However, such methods are fraught with serious health consequences.

Photo by Peter Dazeley / Photographer's Choice / Getty Images Plus

And here's how you can really get sick for a week:

eat a large amount of ice cream or drink a lot of soft drinks - even if the weather is warm outside, hypothermia of the body will lead to reddening of the throat and pain in the head;

go out onto the balcony after taking water procedures and stand there for at least 5 minutes;

walk in cool weather in light clothing after an intense workout;

wet your feet while walking;

take about 50 breaths of frosty air with your mouth wide open - in the morning the throat will be red and sore (you should not be too zealous here, because pneumonia can be achieved);

sleep during the night in a draft;

after taking water procedures, stay in a room with a working air conditioner for at least an hour;

wash your hair and, without drying it, take a walk in cool weather (but this method is dangerous for the development of meningitis);

inhale the products of combustion that occur during the burning of plastic - a long cough will appear, but in addition to it, general poisoning of the body is guaranteed;

drink several cups of coffee in a row - this will lead to an increase in blood pressure (this method has a negative effect on the heart).

Sometimes you can resort to one of these methods to get sick leave for a week. But still, it is worth solving personal problems and arranging a vacation in a completely different way so as not to harm your health.

In order not to catch a cold and not get sick, you need to follow a list of long-standing rules and tips.

But sometimes a different result is required and the question arises: how to catch a cold with a temperature purposefully?

In this case, the opposite should be done.

It is important to remember that any illness is detrimental to health.

Having caught a cold on purpose, and do not put it off until tomorrow. The more time is lost, the more severe and unexpected will be the consequences of the disease.

Turns out it's not that hard to catch a cold.

In case of planning an illness in advance, 2-3 days before the required moment, the following methods will “help” you:

Dress lightly before going out when it's windy and cold outside.
Wear waterproof shoes when it rains and walk through the puddles to your heart's content. In no case do not take an umbrella - get wet.
Sit in open drafts and cold surfaces without trying to keep yourself warm with layers of clothing.
Walk at home barefoot and without socks on the cold floor.
If the sun and cool air are outside, dress very warmly, take a walk, sweat and unbutton your jacket - let it blow a good breeze.
Go to visit a sick relative, colleague, friend without protective equipment (gauze mask, shoe covers). Sit next to him, drink water from his cup, shake his hand and then scratch your nose. When you come home, do not wash your hands, but take an apple or a piece of bread with them and eat.
Invite neighbors, friends with a runny nose or cough to visit and do not ventilate the room so as not to “scare away” the accumulated viruses.
To enhance the effect and create favorable conditions for viruses, warm the apartment thoroughly with electrical appliances. Thus, dry the air and get rid of moisture that is harmful to viruses.
To weaken the immune system, stop eating onions, garlic, fruits. Eat foods low in vitamins and useful substances, smoke, drink alcoholic drinks. Thanks to such actions, a cold will not keep you waiting, and with it a whole load of diseases will come, exacerbated against the backdrop of a weakened immune system.

How to get a cold with a temperature overnight?

If you need a quick operative illness that will not let you get out of bed in the morning, you can follow the following "recommendations":

Accept hot shower, take a bath in the bath and open the windows in the apartment, creating a draft. You need to sit on it until it freezes. Do not overdo it, otherwise you will catch pneumonia.
If it's cool outside, wet your head and go for a walk or breathe with wet hair fresh air to the balcony. Beware of cold and especially frost. Such a "procedure" is fraught with meningitis and other serious consequences that are life-threatening.
After enhanced physical activity, after sweating well, go for a run in damp or thin clothes.
For the appearance of a cough and redness of the throat, drink hot tea, and then chew on ice cubes, eat ice cream. The main thing is not to overdo it and not bring it to a serious sore throat with chronic consequences in the form of pharyngitis. You can also smoke well or inhale the smoke of the leaves on fire, which can lead to intoxication of the body, nausea, and vomiting.
Sit under the cold air from the air conditioner while drinking something cold. You can eat some aggressive mint candy or chew some menthol gum.
Soak your feet in a cold bath until freezing. This method will cause all the symptoms of a cold: red throat, runny nose, fever. There is also a possibility of pneumonia and tonsillitis.

Dress for the weather: don't wear warm clothes in cold weather

How to get flu quickly at home?

In fact, there is nothing pleasant in a cold

Lethargy, fever and other symptoms of the disease are unlikely to give you the opportunity to relax and take a break from everyday work.

And the disease can turn into unpredictable consequences.

Be vigilant and do not test your immunity for strength.

I write about how to fake illness or how to get sick for real. I hope these tips will help you solve your problems, and you will not try to cause a real illness. I hope you avoid these tips and never get sick.

Symptoms of illness are mainly signs of how the immune system is fighting infection. Usually, immunity turns on only 3-4 days after the infection enters the body. Therefore, if you want to get sick quickly at home, you'd better feign illness. And if you want to deal with Chinese goods, read Buypar, there is everything about Aliexpress in Russian.

How to get sick when parents are at home so that mom would believe

Start simulating as early as possible. The more you pretend, the sooner your parents will believe you.
- It is better to start complaining about the ailment (headache, stomach pain, feeling unwell) the day before. The ideal time is after lunch. The latest is at 18:30
- Fake only those symptoms that you know. Have you been sick before? Have any of your relatives been sick recently? These are the symptoms and simulate
- The first sign of a fever or a cold is rosy cheeks. Pat your cheeks with your palms or rub them
- You must look tired, sad
Stop doing what you love. This is a must! For example, if you refuse to play on the computer, your parents will immediately think that you are sick.
- Be sure to leave at least some food on your plate. Show that you have no appetite and you will not even eat your favorite dish
- Refrain from meeting friends or walking
- Give up TV or computer games
- Lie down, show that you are very tired
start doing homework but don't finish. By this you will show that you really, really want to study, but you can’t because of illness
Go to bed earlier than usual. This will greatly alert the parents, and they will begin to worry.
- Don't brush your teeth and don't get ready for bed, just go and go to bed
- It will be best if you fall asleep dressed on the bed or right at the table
Wake up in the middle of the night. Wake up your parents and tell them you don't feel well. Your stomach and head hurt.
- Fake vomiting, at least a little. Go to the toilet and put two fingers in your mouth, closer to your throat, to induce a gag reflex
- Pull the lower eyelid head strongly down and hold in this position until tears come out of the eyes
- Don't forget to rub your face, especially your cheeks, to keep them red
- You can fake coughing, but it's dangerous. If you are faking a cough, do it very, very regularly, but not too much.
Don't go to bed until morning again. Then in the morning you will have a sick look - bags under the eyes, headache, sleepy watery eyes
Do not ask your parents to leave you at home until the last! Try to lead them to this thought. You need your parents to invite you to stay at home

How to get sick in 5 minutes if parents are at home and don't go to school

None of the known diseases manifests itself so quickly, in five minutes. Therefore, it is better to simulate not an illness, but an injury. Then mom would rather believe and leave you at home, not let you go to school. The easiest and easiest to simulate are two types of injuries:

Ankle sprain
head injury

To simulate an ankle sprain, you need:

Make sure your parents can't see you.
Simulate a fall. Remember - your leg twisted, the foot went up and the lateral ligaments were stretched. Be sure to scream and fall to the floor.
Remember - now your foot in the ankle hurts very badly. You can't stand on it and you can't walk at all.
Every step you take must be painful.
Show tears. Just pull the lower eyelid down and hold it in this position - tears will appear.
stretching mild degree has no visual signs at all, the leg looks healthy. A moderate stretch is accompanied by redness. And only in a severe degree does the leg swell. There is no need to simulate a severe degree - it is treated by an orthopedic doctor. And the doctor will immediately determine that you are feigning.
You can constantly rub your ankle to make it red. But just do it so that mom does not see. Indeed, with a real sprain, the leg hurts very much, it is impossible to touch it.
Make sure to limp really hard and don't step on the "injured foot".
Each movement should be accompanied by a slight groan, sob, or other manifestation of pain.
Show that you are really hurt by giving up some of your favorite things. For example, lie on the bed instead of sitting at the computer. This will be the strongest argument for parents.

To simulate a headbutt:

Make sure your parents can't see you
Pretend you fell or hit your head on the door
Fall or sit on the floor
cry
You are now constantly dizzy and have a headache
Don't forget exactly where you "hit"
Fake vomiting or nausea
Refuse food
Lie down and do nothing. No computer or friends, otherwise parents will understand everything
Don't be afraid if they take you to the doctor. Keep repeating the same thing - your head hurts and is spinning, you feel sick and really want to lie down. Most likely, the doctor will say that you have a mild concussion and need to lie in bed for a couple of days.

How to get sick overnight if parents are at home

The easiest way is to stay up all night until morning. Then you will have the appearance of a clearly sick and sleepy person and do not have to simulate anything. Even if your parents send you to school, immediately complain to the teacher about being unwell and ask the doctor/nurse. When the doctor looks at you, he will see strange symptoms and send you home. A doctor or nurse simply won't want to take responsibility.

The easiest and healthiest way to get to the hospital is to cause severe diarrhea (diarrhea). Diarrhea is a symptom of many serious infectious diseases. But remember - diarrhea should be really strong, unreasonable and frequent. You should tell everyone that you didn’t eat anything unusual, that the portion size was also normal, but now, for no reason, you started having severe and frequent diarrhea. At the same time, do not forget to drink plenty of fluids. Otherwise, you will cause dehydration of the body and cause serious injury to yourself. If your parents send you to school despite severe diarrhea, do not be afraid. It is even easier to simulate diarrhea there. Ask the teacher to go to the toilet several times in a row. Complain of a severe malaise - you feel sick, your stomach hurts, you constantly want to go to the toilet. The teacher or school doctor will not want to take responsibility and will send you home or call an ambulance and send you to the hospital.

How to get sick in 1 hour - how to cause diarrhea or diarrhoea:

Eat plenty of fiber-rich foods - fruits, vegetables, greens
Eat lots of citrus fruits - tangerines, oranges, grapefruits
Eat a lot of prunes
Drink oil - olive, sunflower or linseed
Drink or eat as many fermented milk products as possible - yogurt, kefir, fermented baked milk
Take a laxative, but don't overdo it

How to get sick with a temperature, how to raise the body temperature

High temperature is considered the surest symptom of the disease, so it is best to imitate it.

How to get sick with a temperature of 38 - fake a high temperature

Take a towel and soak it in hot water. Place the towel on your forehead for 1 minute. Then show your parents and complain about the high temperature. Your forehead will turn slightly red and become hot. Just remember to make sure your forehead is dry or they will know you are cheating.

Full body high temperature simulation

Under the shirt, put on things that do not allow heat to pass through. It could be:

Woolen clothes
Nylon underwear
Thick silk underwear

Lie down with this in bed under the covers and lie down like this for about 30 minutes. Then you can go to your parents and complain about the high temperature.

How to get sick with a temperature - eat food that raises the temperature

The easiest way to increase body temperature is to drink or eat hot foods. It can be soup, tea, porridge. Also, all types of hot peppers increase the temperature - chili, tabasco, jalapeno. Eat more spicy and hot foods and your body temperature will rise.

Body temperature depends on where it is measured

The temperature in the mouth is one degree higher than in the armpit
The temperature in the rectum is two degrees higher than under the arm

Next, I write about how to get a real disease. Try to avoid all of the things listed below, so as not to get sick in any case.

How to lose your voice

Long shout, sing. If you don't want to be heard, you can scream into a pillow. You can hoarse faster if you take low notes, sing in bass
Whisper for a long time. Whisper several times for 20 minutes, take breaks for about 5 minutes. After a few hours of such exercises, your voice will completely disappear. To whisper, you need to tighten the vocal cords, and this also leads to their tension. Just don't drink anything until you lose your voice
You can also irritate the vocal cords and make you hoarse if you gargle with something sour - orange juice, acetic acid solution or lemon juice. To avoid serious injury to yourself, pour no more than ¼ of vinegar or lemon juice into a glass

How to get a cold without leaving home

The common cold is commonly referred to as rhinitis, an inflammation of the nasal mucosa. Colds are caused by microbes that already live on our mucosa, so you do not need to contact the sick to catch a cold.

How to get sick for a week with a cold:

Dress warmly and sit in a warm room
Do not ventilate the room, try to keep the air as dry and warm as possible
Do not drink any drinks, including water
Stay at home, don't go out
Move as little as possible
Try to keep warm and sweat as much as possible
Get out into the cold air or take a cold shower
Freeze well
Lie down and do nothing

Angina is acute infection with local inflammation in the throat. Often begins after a cold, as a complication. Treatment is long, difficult and unpleasant. Therefore, you should not get a sore throat in order not to go to school. To get sick with angina you need:

Don't brush your teeth
Do not treat caries on the teeth, wounds in the mouth
Do not treat a runny nose in all its manifestations
Communicate closely with those who already have a sore throat

How to get SARS

SARS is an acute respiratory viral infection. This is the name of all diseases caused by a virus that affects the respiratory tract. Accordingly, the only way to get ARVI is to catch the virus from someone who is already sick. Sometimes the virus is transmitted to humans from an animal, so those who work with animals, do not wash their hands and do not follow the rules of hygiene often get sick. To get sick with SARS you need:

Go to crowded places more often, especially on public transport
Do not wash your hands or follow other hygiene rules
Avoid close contact with sick people
Do not wear a gauze bandage
Sleep less and eat less
Be more often in unventilated areas
Take as few vitamins as possible

How to get pneumonia

Pneumonia or pneumonia is a deadly disease. In some cases, the patient may die in just a few days, even without severe symptoms. In pneumonia, the alveoli (the small organ in the lungs through which we breathe) fill with fluid and the person suffocates. To get pneumonia you need:

Get over a cold or SARS
Don't cure a cold
smoke as much as possible
Do not treat chronic lung disease

How to get chickenpox

Chickenpox or chicken pox is a viral disease. Therefore, the only way to get chickenpox is to catch the virus from a person who is already sick. Most people have been vaccinated (have been vaccinated) against chickenpox. Therefore, they cannot get sick, even if they come into very close contact with carriers of the virus. A person who has already been ill with chickenpox once receives immunity from the virus. Therefore, it is almost impossible to get sick again. To get chickenpox you need:

Don't get vaccinated
Don't get chickenpox before
Contact with patients
Do not comply general rules hygiene

How to get anorexia

Anorexia is a complete lack of appetite. Most often is mental disorder. Therefore, the easiest way to get anorexic is to go crazy. In other cases, loss of appetite is associated with illness or external factors. To get sick with anorexia you need:

Be exposed to strong radioactive radiation
get poisoned
To take drugs
Get AIDS, tuberculosis, Crohn's disease, hepatitis, or cancer
Avoid foods containing zinc
Do not drink any liquid for a long time
Eat too much vitamin D

Otitis media is a severe inflammation of the ear, usually caused by a bacterial infection. May be accompanied by severe pain. Treatment can be long and uncomfortable. To get otitis media you need:

Coughing, sneezing, blowing your nose and not treating a cold
When coughing and sneezing, try to get the mucus into the ear canal. For example, tightly close the nose and mouth
Don't wash your hands
Don't wash your ears
Scratch your ears often with dirty hands

How to get sick? What not to do

Whatever the reason for your interest in the disease, remember, it is always better to feign illness, and not really get sick. Never do the following:

Don't take medicine to get sick. You can make a mistake with the dose and inflict yourself serious injury or die
Don't injure yourself. Trauma can always be faked without real pain.
Do not eat or drink tainted foods. Diarrhea is easier to cause in yourself by drinking a glass of sunflower oil
Do not eat or drink anything that is not meant for this. You can cause serious injury or severe poisoning to yourself. Then you will regret these actions for the rest of your life.

It's better to fake sickness and never really get sick Now you know what not to do to be always healthy.

With such health, you can fly into space! Parents often repeat this with pride, unaware that the future astronaut is not as strong and fearless as they imagined. Sometimes you don’t even have the courage to get up to school in the morning, especially when the end of the term is on the nose with a bunch of tests. How to get sick with a cold, poisoning, inflammation or an ailment unknown to doctors in order to avoid the upcoming difficult everyday life? Easily! You can effectively undermine your heroic health both for a day and for a week. And the luckiest ones can generally remain disabled for life - then not only a school with space, but all other difficulties will be left behind. The main thing is that the ways to get sick quickly really work, and adults keep them a secret!

It is unlikely that the question “how quickly and realistically get sick?” appeared in my head with the ringing of an alarm clock. Such thoughts haunt for a long time. The mistake is that the sly one only suffers, but does not think through his plan. But the Chinese, for example, knew that the enemy could not be poisoned with fresh tea.

To get sick in 5 minutes, you need to prepare for this at least a day. First of all, you need to answer a few questions:

How long do you need an illness, or is the school so terrible that it is worse than any disability?
Do you need a real illness with an ambulance and resuscitation, or is it enough just to simulate an illness and rely on your acting skills?

Before you get sick with a cold or something else, you need to prepare your household for a grand event in the evening. Cough, moan, sit at the computer less, complain about headache and body aches. It is necessary to try very hard to make the parents believe: the child was broken by the evening and could fully get sick overnight. When the control coincides with an unexpected illness, it is always suspicious and raises many questions.

And if there is no acting talent at all, you can pretend to be a good friend of your sick classmate. By visiting him daily, you can quickly become infected, especially if the sufferer has the flu. You need to hug the poor fellow, try to catch his every sneeze, drink from his mug. This will solve the problem of how to get the flu quickly.

Equipment for the patient

A real connoisseur of his craft will need “equipment”, since it will not work to get sick quickly at home without the help of special items / products.

Choose at your discretion.

Hot water bottle. It is desirable to dial shortly before the parents woke up. Needed to warm up the armpit and get high marks on the thermometer. If there is a hot battery or light bulb nearby, you don't have to fiddle with the bottle.
Tea brewed a week ago. Chinese method of poisoning. You need to be prepared for any reactions of the body up to stool incontinence. Dangerous and shameful, but what a result! Instead of tea, by the way, there can be any other product / drink. The longer the exposure - the thinner (and more dangerous!) The consequences.
Thermos with coffee. If you drink about 3-5 cups of an invigorating drink in the morning, the pressure can become very high. Do you have a blood pressure monitor at home? Fine, all that's left to do is prepare for the fever, vomiting, and bleeding nose. Does anyone doubt the veracity of such symptoms? Moreover, the heart after such experiments can act up all his life.

Ground pepper. Prepare in the evening, hide in a secluded place. In the morning, spray in front of the face so that it gets into the nose and eyes. Tearing, sneezing, redness of the eyeballs, confused look. Is it human's fault that the allergy to the cat sleeping next to him arose only this morning? The main thing is that not a single animal is harmed!
Pencil. You don't have to draw anything, you just need to eat a piece of lead. Very soon I will be lucky enough to wake up in intensive care, where teachers are not allowed. If the stylus seems tasteless, you can drop iodine on a piece of refined sugar - this is an option for gourmets. The result will be the same.

Attention! If you really managed to get sick in 5 minutes, you need to be prepared for adequate treatment. Or did someone decide that the disease would pass as quickly as it started? Even true simulators, who did not harm their body, are no exception. Such “patients” will also have to treat non-existent pain, temperature or allergies, which is quite natural!

5 secrets of a sore throat

How to quickly and reliably get sick with a sore throat or SARS in order to get rid of an educational institution for at least a couple of weeks? There are five proven ways to get a red throat and sick leave.

You will need 2 servings of ice cream and a pack of menthol or mint candies. These meals will need to be alternated. Ice cream - lollipops - ice cream. The throat will react to such irritation with natural redness. If the immune system is weak, after such a dessert you can really get a cold with a temperature.
You can simulate a sore throat with both cold and hot foods. Warm enough vegetable oil and drink it in one gulp. Not every doctor succeeds in distinguishing a sore throat from a burnt one. But you can get sick in 5 minutes not only with "angina", but also with a gastrointestinal disorder. A large portion of oil can cause severe diarrhea, disrupt liver function.
Red chupa chups are good because they contain active dyes. If you stock up on a box of such delicacies, you can get sick quickly and for a long time. It is only important not to overdo it - if the whole mouth with lips is painted red, the "patient" will not reach the doctor. Go straight to school.
While a person is thinking about how to quickly get a cold so that everyone believes, you can not waste time and cough, cough ... This will violate the integrity of the pharyngeal mucosa - it will turn red. A loud, prolonged scream would be a good irritant - but households and neighbors may faint.
Open a window, balcony (or freezer, if it is not winter outside) and take about 100 deep breaths with your mouth. But if the question “how to get pneumonia” is not considered, then a lung disease can be left as a last resort if the previous four methods do not work. All the same to control work breathing is more difficult than in the intensive care unit.

How can you get sick quickly? Whatever, if the game is worth the candle. Namely - if the whole future life is valued lower than the bonus called "two weeks of rest." Even the strongest health can be made fragile in 5 minutes. In the future, it's better to laugh at F's in a school diary than cry over a diagnosis in a medical record.

In 5 minutes, schoolchildren often ask, because adults know how not to go to work officially and without harm to health. Therefore, the purpose of the article is not to help children become truants, but to avoid health problems when using various methods described on the Internet to really get sick or seem sick.

If you decide to get sick in, then for sure you do not want to get complications and lie in bed for a long time, and therefore you should approach the problem prudently. Surely you would be fine with a common cold for a week.

You can catch an acute respiratory disease in 5 minutes, but the symptoms of the disease will appear much later. Therefore resort to various methods cooling feet, drinking ice-cold drinks, contact with infected people, eating various nasty things with the aim of poisoning is not worth it. All of them can be not only ineffective, but also lead to undesirable, more severe health consequences.

More reasonable in order to get sick in 5 minutes, it may be a simulation method. It is especially convenient for those who plan to lie in bed for only one day.

The main indicator that you are sick is heat. In order for the thermometer to show a number above 37 on the indicator, you can rub it or hold it for a couple of seconds in hot water. So that no one notices the catch when feeling the forehead, it can be heated, for example, with a hairdryer.

Show elevated temperature the thermometer can, if under it is really more than normal. To do this, it is enough to rub salt into it, warming the ointment, warm it with a mustard plaster.

You can skip one day of school by feigning an upset stomach. It will be enough for someone to grab his stomach and go through toilet room, others may not be believed, and therefore safe, proven ways to provoke diarrhea or vomiting will be needed.

To get mild diarrhea, you can use a mild laxative from herbal ingredients. Magnesium sulfate is also suitable, a tablespoon of which should be consumed with a half glass of water immediately after waking up.

To induce vomiting in 5 minutes, you can drink several glasses of water and provoke a spasm of the larynx with four fingers, leaning forward over the pelvis or sink.

It's easy for high school girls to skip school, citing monthly stomach pains. If parents require proof, a gouache-colored hygiene product can be provided, although it is unlikely that anyone will want to consider the discharge on it.

It should be noted that the use of all medical methods to seem sick can be unsafe, so it is highly undesirable to use them.

In no case, as some sources advise, in order to get sick in 5 minutes, drink iodine, eat a stylus, breathe over burning plastic and use other dubious methods. This can lead to more serious consequences than you wish.