Psychologist Andrei Metelsky: The main reason for weight gain is in your head. Psychologist Andrey Metelsky: The main reason for weight gain is in your head Detective story with "bears", "Motherland" and the Red Banner

“Do not make a cult out of food,” said Ostap Bender, and he was absolutely right. Today in the world there are millions of diets, methods and technologies for weight loss. People in all seriousness scrupulously, to the last calorie, calculate their portions. Their heads are literally filled with rubbish about when, what and how to eat.

Andrey Metelsky - pediatrician, adolescent psychotherapist, sexologist, gestalt trainer, certified trainer of the INTC center. General psychotherapeutic practice - 20 years.

The fight against excess weight goes on all fronts, and humanity is losing in this unequal battle. Because he is not fighting with it. And if you figure it out - you don’t need to fight at all. Why? Let's figure it out.

Why are diets popular? Because people themselves do not want to do anything. They are too lazy to think, to be aware of the problem they face. It is easier to turn to an authority that will take the hand and lead to a "happy future." There are now millions of applicants for the role of authorities - choose who you want, the main thing is to pay.

Our body is designed in such a way that it constantly needs a certain set of proteins, fats, carbohydrates, minerals, vitamins. Going on a diet, a person, for example, limits himself to the consumption of fats. He drinks skim milk and kefir, eats only certain foods, etc. An organism that needs fats for life (forgive me, this is how nature intended, and it will not work to deceive it), will panic. As a result, he will try to get fats from anything and put them in reserve. This is, of course, a very generalized, but quite working scheme.

It is the same with all the other elements: as soon as they are not enough, the body, against our will, tries to accumulate them in excess, and what if “hungry” times are ahead? The result of any diet will eventually come down to the fact that sooner or later we will abandon it and soon we will get a completely opposite result.

It will be objected to me, they say, there are vivid examples of the fact that, having gone on a diet, people became slim and attractive and later felt great without food restrictions. Such cases do exist, but you may not understand the root cause of success. These people became healthier not because they went on a diet, but because they finally paid attention to themselves. We started to love ourselves.

The main reason for weight gain is in your head. Solving a hidden psychological problem, we allow the subconscious to give a signal to the body - difficult situation allowed, it is already possible not to “jam” it, and we lose weight without any effort.

The range of such problems is vast, and often they are completely non-obvious. It can be a fear of close contact, in which the body metaphorically "expands" its presence in the world, protecting the little "I" inside. Someone gets fat because of insecurity, trying to become bigger and more impressive. There are many reasons, the main thing is to understand them.

But most often the roots of problems are in deep childhood. My youngest son just started school, and I was horrified to discover how many fat kids there are in first grade. How parents should try to make their child look like a barrel by the age of 7!

A child by nature knows how much to eat and when. If he is psychologically healthy and eats the way his subconscious tells him, then he will never get fat. In Minsk in the 90s, pediatricians conducted an experiment. They took two groups of two-year-old children, one of them was fed classically (at a certain time and with well-balanced dishes), and the second was served with a buffet (take what you want and when you want). It turned out that children who ate in a free mode received all the ingredients necessary for a full-fledged life in food with surprisingly verified accuracy.

Every day, when taking children from the kindergarten, mothers ask: “What did they feed you?”. Like it really matters. At first, for a person, food is just food. The fuel needed for the life support process. But every day we point out to the child its significance, and, of course, sooner or later he begins to believe in it.

We still live in post-war complexes: bread cannot be thrown away, soup must be eaten to the last drop. And our child pushes calories completely unnecessary to the body through force.

We feed the children, compensating for their mistakes in education, paying off for fairy tales not read at night, not paid attention, etc. Coca-Cola, chocolates, chips and hamburgers become an alternative currency for expressing parental love. Only this currency is fake. For his part, the child, noticing that his parents approve when he eats under orders, begins to subconsciously absorb more and more, hoping for approval.

With the tenacity of maniacs, we try to feed the children according to the regimen. And eventually they get used to it and less and less can hear the signals of their body. By the way, it has long been proven that proteins eaten without appetite are not digested to amino acids, the body perceives them as something alien and removes them naturally.

I repeat: you need to eat when you want and how much you want. The only nuance that does not allow us to live comfortably in this paradigm lies in the word “want”. We must clearly understand that we really want to eat, and not, for example, get approval, love, solve problems at work, etc.

The global trend in the fight against excess weight with the help of diets and weight loss products says only one thing: humanity is increasingly falling into childhood and does not want to be responsible for its actions, its body and its life in general.

I am convinced that the problem excess weight, like many other "problems" of modern mankind, is artificially created. In the past ten years, I have watched with interest a funny process in a very popular glamor magazine. First, a series of articles appeared about women's autumn depression, they say, bad weather contributes to it, the withering of nature and all that. Soon, patients began to come to me, who began to mope.

A couple of years later, articles were published about winter depression associated with a lack of light - there were twice as many “moping” patients. It is quite logical that publications soon appeared about spring depression, which was associated with a lack of vitamins, and summer depression (I don’t even remember why). Clients who were ready to mope, now with ecstasy could be depressed for a whole year. The same thing happens with articles about obesity and the fight against it. The scheme is very clear: a problem is created, and then ways to solve it are proposed.

When we eat something, the body rewards us with pleasure hormones - endorphins, after all, you did the right thing, supported the vital functions of the body. There is a term “unconscious need”, when it is not satisfied, anxiety arises. Instead of dealing with this anxiety, understanding its causes, we suppress it with light endorphins obtained in the process of eating. At the same time, the need does not disappear anywhere - we eat more and more.

Let me summarize: in order to get rid of excess weight, we do not need diets, but a clear awareness of our needs. This applies to both adults and children. Of course, here it is worth understanding that we are not talking about diets prescribed for medical reasons. There are completely different causes and effects.

Now more and more people are trying to in a healthy way life, go to gym(and that's great!), are on diets, but do not lose weight. Until we satisfy our unconscious needs, until we solve internal problems that have been shelved, it will not work to fully lose weight and start eating right and healthy.

You can drive fat mechanically, making incredible efforts in the gym. But it will be an endless war, which will lead to nothing good - the body will sooner or later avenge the violence against itself. published

Detective story with "bears", "Motherland" and the Red Banner

Natalya Galimova

The Presnensky Court of the capital began to consider the claim of the leader of the United Russia faction in the Moscow City Duma, Andrei Metelsky, against the co-chairman of the Motherland faction in the State Duma, Dmitry Rogozin. Metelsky defends his honor, dignity and business reputation, on which, according to the plaintiff, “thanks” to Rogozin a big stain has appeared. This happened during the elections to the Moscow City Duma, when Dmitry Olegovich actually accused Andrei Nikolaevich of having appropriated someone else's Order of the Red Banner. An order actually owned by a war veteran.

The first of the journalists who fell into the hands of documents testifying to the "uncleanliness" of Metelsky was the correspondent of "MK". This information smelled like a real sensation. But when I tried to thoroughly understand this case, it smelled like a big pre-election scam. However, our newspaper decided not to publicize this story before the elections - so that we would not be accused of supporting any of the candidates. Now the election is over...

“Natasha, this is not telephone conversation. We need to meet,” Dmitry Rogozin told me when, at his request, I called him. The meeting took place on a dank evening in an inconspicuous nook near the editorial office of MK. “Here, here are the documents. Look,” Rogozin opened a pink folder with the inscription “To the report” and showed several sheets. The papers testified that the head of the United Russia faction in the Moscow City Duma, Andrei Metelsky, took possession of the Order of the Red Banner, which actually belongs to WWII veteran Major Ivan Golovko. The documents were a response to a deputy request from General Valentin Varennikov (Motherland faction).

We began to check these data. Valentin Ivanovich said that he sent a deputy request at the request of the President of the Union of Russian Paratroopers, Colonel-General Achalov. “General Achalov had doubts (regarding Metelsky. - N.G.),” he said. And that's where Achalov's doubts came from: in a letter addressed to Varennikov, he reports that "veterans of the war in Afghanistan turned to the Union of Paratroopers." They asked to find out the “origin of military awards” of Metelsky, who also fought in Afghanistan.

“I sent inquiries to the Main Directorate of Personnel of the Ministry of Defense and to the archives of the Ministry of Defense,” Valentin Varennikov told MK. - And I got strange results: that one of the Metelsky orders actually belongs to a completely different person. I spent the entire war almost non-stop in Afghanistan, and it was hard for me to get such a message.”

A certificate from the Central Archive of the Ministry of Defense, signed by the head of this department, Colonel Chuvashin, stated that Metelsky had two orders. One is the Red Star. “In addition, - writes the head of the archive, - in the registration card of the awarded lieutenant Metelsky A.N. inscribed the Order of the Red Banner No. 511553 according to the Decree of the USSR PVS dated 12/19/91 No. 3061. But “in the course of an additional check it was established” that “Metelsky Andrey Nikolayevich is not listed in this decree. Order of the Red Banner No. 511553 was awarded on August 29, 1956 to Major Ivan Ivanovich Golovko. Awarded by the Decree of the PVS of the USSR of November 5, 1954.”

I asked General Varennikov how it is possible to attribute someone else's order to a person. “Account books of the awarded are filled in by the Ministry of Defense. And I believe that in this case the matter is unclean, ”he replied. And at the end of our meeting, he suddenly asked: why did I decide to take on Metelsky? Who is this person? From the questions it was possible to conclude that General Varennikov had a very vague idea of ​​the actual purpose for which he was asked to send the request. This version was also confirmed by the fact that the original documents, which I asked to see just in case, were not with Valentin Ivanovich, but with Dmitry Rogozin ...

“It's fake! - shouted into the phone Metelsky, whom I asked for a meeting. “It has to do with the elections!”

About thirty minutes later, with difficulty reassuring the head of the Moscow City Duma "bears", I arrange a personal meeting. Andrei Nikolaevich prepared thoroughly for it: he brought photographs of the Afghan period, a tunic with orders, documents for them, and a lot of other papers. But when he saw copies of Rogozin's papers, he became confused. “How can you explain the fact that your award card contains a foreign order?” "I don't know! I don't know anything about him!" - Metelsky breaks into a scream. However, soon he has a version: “Perhaps someone entered someone else’s order in my card in order to set me up.” “But the archive of the Ministry of Defense is a closed department. How can you write something there? United Russia is hinting that nothing is impossible... “Andrei Nikolayevich,” Metelsky's press secretary interrupts our conversation, “is that your signature?” The head of the Moscow City Duma United Russia looks at a copy of the registration card (it was also sent to Varennikov from the archive), where, under the name of that same foreign order, there is allegedly his autograph. “No, not mine,” he drawls. And as evidence, he shows me several of his documents of those years. The signature that is in them has nothing to do with the one that appears in the document from the archive of the Ministry of Defense. Someone else clearly signed for Metelsky.

I told Dmitry Rogozin about this strange fact. "So what? For example, my signature - if you compare it with the one that was fifteen years ago, is now completely different, ”the leader of the Motherland was instantly found. “You may have a different one, but Metelsky’s signature has not changed over the past 15 years. The account card was clearly signed by another person instead of him.” The leader of Rodina was also found here: “Well, maybe this is a military instructor.”

Anything can happen. As well as the fact that compromising evidence was fabricated. But then it turns out that they worked on it in the archive of the Ministry of Defense? And someone, then, Metelsky “ordered”? ..

There is one more - the most important - moment in this story. Andrei Metelsky has never publicly stated anywhere that he owns the Order of the Red Banner. Even Rogozin did not find such references. And he - you can rest assured - he searched well. But after all, if a person appropriates someone else's order, then he does it in order to demonstrate it to others ...

Some time later, Metelsky gave me some papers. One is a response to his request to the Main Directorate of Personnel of the Ministry of Defense. The other is a response from the same department to General Varennikov's request, a paper that Dmitry Rogozin never gave me (Metelsky was handed this document by the general's assistants). Both papers say that the head of the "bear" faction in the Moscow State Duma was awarded the Order of the Red Star and the jubilee medal "70 years of the Armed Forces of the USSR." There is no information that Metelsky also has the Order of the Red Banner in the Main Personnel Directorate.

Naturally, after that I did not begin to write an article exposing Metelsky. Material on this topic appeared in another newspaper. The information there, as you might guess, was transmitted by the same Rogozin ...

Now we hope that the defendants in this case will help us sort it out. And we will finally find out which of them is really interested in establishing the truth.

Andrei Nikolayevich sent a request to the Chief Military Prosecutor's Office with a request to find out by whom, when and on what basis someone else's order was entered into his registration card. Dmitry Olegovich, in turn, sent a request to the Prosecutor General's Office. By the way, at the request of lawyer Rogozin, the Presnensky Court postponed the hearing of the case until this Friday - until the check is completed.

When I was offered to write memoirs for the 20th anniversary of the capital's parliament, I somehow even got confused: work is work, what to remember? And then I thought that becoming a deputy in Moscow is akin to getting into the cosmonaut squad: for the entire metropolis, 12 million people, there are only 35 of us. So remembering how you worked becomes no longer a personal desire or unwillingness, but a kind of obligation. People should know what and how you have been doing on their behalf all these years.

It is not easy to remember everything that has been done in 13 years. So I decided to focus on a few questions. First: what struck me the most in the capital's parliament when I started working in it? When I came to the Moscow City Duma in 2001, the “recent history of parliamentarism” was eight years old. A lot has already been done, a certain way of life and activity of the Duma has taken shape. Most of all, I, a military man, was struck by the fact that the Duma has its own Regulations. It's like being in the army. Everything is spelled out in it: how much time for a report-questions-answers-debate, how it is necessary to address each other, which statements are possible and which are categorically not; document flow, the time frame for considering draft laws, resolutions, statements, what threatens for violating the rules, etc., etc. And most importantly, everyone is strictly guided by the letter of the regulations. This does not mean that no one should have an opinion and cannot express it. No. This means that there are “rules of the game”, an ethic of labor relations that is voluntarily accepted by everyone and used in practice. I should note that, despite the pluralism of opinions and political differences, labor productivity, largely due to regulations, has always been and remains high. Over 20 years, the Duma has held more than 1,400 meetings, considered more than 8,000 questions and adopted more than 7,000 documents.

Second question: what do you remember the most? If we talk about the work on individual legislative acts, then in the Duma it is customary to consider all laws to be equally important and significant. We do not single out “some special”, “most important” documents. And yet I want to tell you about the work on the bill to ban the gambling business in the capital. He is very significant in many ways. Firstly, many laws of the federal level appeared after similar ones in Moscow. And this document is no exception. In the field of regulation of the gambling business, we have also become pioneers. Secondly, while working on the law, the Moscow City Duma faced an actively expressed misunderstanding on the part of business. Nevertheless, in 2005 we adopted the Law “On the Placement of Gambling Business Objects on the Territory of the City of Moscow”. And finally, this law does not seem to have a pronounced social orientation, but only regulates business ... But we feel the effect of its adoption is colossal. Just think about how many people, thanks to the law, were freed from gambling addiction and did not fall under the influence of this harmful passion ... And how many families were saved! How many debts are not done! And how many lives have been saved! So the fates and lives of people, ordinary Muscovites, depend on each document adopted by the Moscow City Duma.

I cannot but touch upon another aspect of the deputy's work. These are meetings with residents, reception of the population. You understand that people do not come to us from a good life. And sometimes in a state of extreme despair. It is difficult to understand and accept that your desire, your need cannot be realized not only due to circumstances, but also because it is contrary to the law. Moreover, if earlier people came for clarifications of the law, today they are well legally savvy and often turn to a deputy with a secret idea to use his resource to solve their not entirely legal issue. For example, the area of ​​​​an apartment is only 40-50 centimeters larger than the minimum for each family member, and you are no longer put on the waiting list for housing. Where's the justice? Today we have to not only explain, act as a psychotherapist, but also, collecting statistics on gaps in the law, discuss with colleagues the need to amend the legislation of the city and the country. To “grind” laws and monitor their enforcement.

And, of course, if I can, I help, turn on the deputy resource, write letters, explain, suggest to people what they need to do in this or that situation.

And the last. Journalists often ask the question: “What did your work in the Duma give you personally?” At first, the posing of the question surprised me: I came to the Moscow City Duma not to get something, but to help, create, do, give ... Ignoring the clumsy wording, I still thought about the essence of the issue. Probably, each of us is given his own path. Walking along it, we learn, we learn the world and ourselves, we create and accept something, but we refuse and reject something ...