You're perfect, but let's be friends. How to get your girlfriend back after the phrase "Let's be friends"? Way out of the situation with the code name "DOD"

Having heard a terrible phrase from a man, let's remain friends, do not rush to get upset and look for flaws in yourself. Try to figure out on your own why the beloved behaved this way, and whether there is a chance of returning him.

In very, very rare cases, the status of "just friends" can be the beginning of a romantic relationship. Such a development of events is possible when he is drawn to you, but he is simply not ready for a sudden romance. This happens when people who just got out of a negative romance are not in the mood to start a new relationship.

What does the phrase "Let's be friends" mean?

In any case, the phrase "Let's remain friends" means that in general you are a good person, but not so interesting as to move further in the same direction with you. Or he seems to love, but wants to keep the relationship at a distance. Basically these have ex girlfriend, which is gone in the past, but he still hopes for a reunion.

The phrase "let's be friends" often needs to be understood as: "You are valuable to me, but only as a backup option."

Therefore, such an offer should be rejected. Never waste your precious time on a person who is trying to put you on the bench.

Why should you answer with a firm "No" to his offer to remain friends?

We women are more mobile, and above all, we value care and personal qualities. At least that's how it should be. But first of all, men need a beautiful picture, and then a rich inner world, status, intelligence, talent and other stray things.

When you hear the insulting phrase “let's be friends” addressed to you, do not try to prove with all your might that you can live up to his ideal. After all, it is not known what image is drawn in the head of a man. This frame just seeks to find a girl without whom life will lose all meaning, and this is a normal phenomenon. Just thank him for being honest and not wasting your time, and you can now move on.

After all, many guys still continue the relationship without trying to transfer the status to just friends, but at this moment they are looking on the side the best way and then leave without explanation.

And the worst mistake is that a woman is afraid to be alone and begins to speculate with intimacy, trying to bind her beloved child. But after a certain time, this glue does not help either. So there is a huge number of mothers raising their children without a father.

Why did the man say "let's be friends"?

• It often happens that the desire for freedom overrides the determination to get involved headlong into a love story. If the chosen one offered to wait, do not settle for just friendship, but pretend that you have completely forgotten about his existence.
• You merge with the general gray mass of other female representatives. In this case, the offer to remain friends is based only on a feeling of pity or indecision to end the relationship, which will lead nowhere.
• MCH could suffer from previous failed love ties. As a consequence, negative experiences require a more meaningful approach to the new connection.
• You weren't that good.
• Girls most often overly care about their beloved, completely forgetting about themselves. But love for one's own person implies constant care for one's own appearance, and also provokes the desire to be realized in a professional or creative way.
• You probably often roll up scenes of jealousy and simply demonstrate your distrust.

Seeing a sad guy, it is often easy to guess what is the reason for his frustration - the girlfriend said let's stay friends. Men of any age who have little experience in communicating with the opposite sex, who have not yet learned to understand women, often react to this phrase with total depression: they go into a binge, cry into a pillow, complain to friends and relatives, try to return their beloved, etc. The phrase "let's remain friends" is perceived only as a catastrophe of a universal scale. Although, if you think about it, nothing terrible actually happened AT ALL. Below I will talk about how to easily survive DOD (let's be friends) and start living a full fun life after a couple of hours or maximum - days, after this phrase.

The girl said let's be friends. What to do

If the girl said let's be friends, you don't need to panic. In a pickup truck, this phenomenon is well known. Conventionally, it is called "The girl announced the DOD." Believe me, this will happen more than once in your life, but after reading this article, you will be ready for it.

If a girl told you "let's be friends" - this means that you are no longer attracted to her as a sexual partner, or she did not consider you as such at all. It is important to understand this information in this way and to accept it courageously. It is clear that it hurts, unpleasant, but the bitter truth is always better. sweet lies- remember this.

The second thing you need to accept is that you can't get her back. Not because it's unrealistic, it's just that if she threw you once, she will throw you twice, or she will manipulate you all her life, and this is humiliating and wrong.

Third, your brain is now inadequate. He is frantically looking for reasons why your beloved left you, and options for how to get her back. You will not find the reasons - do not try in vain. She can tell you that she doesn’t feel a spark between you and you will try to ignite this spark, when in reality she has just been sleeping with another man for a week, who she likes an order of magnitude more.

Why can't you get your ex back?

The option of her return should not be considered at all. Firstly, it is humiliating and unworthy of a normal man. Secondly, now it will cost you a lot of time, resources and nerves, and all for what? To make her snort and turn her nose? Usually guys try to get the girl back - they spend a lot of money, they don't sleep at night - but they still can't get it back. Simply because she fell in love with another man. Then the guy, after a while, usually calms down and realizes that it is unrealistic to return her and begins to live his own life. So isn’t it easier to skip all this suffering and waste of resources and immediately start living normally, burning out energy to others, more useful way, for example, through sports. It is a mistake to think that your situation is unique, and the woman is the only one. Believe me, after a breakup with a girl, every man is convinced of this if he has little experience in communicating with women.

Practice shows that some guys, spending a lot of resources, return the former after other men. Or they themselves then return, as they were abandoned by their lover or something did not work out there. Some ask for forgiveness in tears, others, on the contrary, return like they are doing you a favor (especially if the guy did not stop trying to return her). But all the same, such couples then break up and do not last long, as the guy realizes (if not immediately, then over time) that he was betrayed, exchanged, and returned purely because he is a spare and convenient option. For a man, this is humiliating. It is better to endure pain once than to feel humiliated all your life and allow yourself to be pushed around.

What exactly to do if a girl announced DOD

If a girl told you let's stay friends, you have to do only two things: urgently, and start meeting other women. This is enough to overcome your attachment to the former, at least the first symptoms of her in just a couple of hours. Sitting at home and loading up, going to a bar, crying to friends, etc. Absolutely forbidden! This will only exacerbate an already bad mood.

If you were declared DOD, urgently go and meet 3-5 other girls. It is optimal to make 10 approaches to strangers. It’s better not to concentrate on one now - after the breakup, it will seem worse than the former. Try to get to know as many people as you can. The first 2-3 approaches may be difficult for you - come with strength. Breaking up with the woman you love is a situation that gives a lot of energy. Use it correctly - step over your fear and reluctance to get acquainted, and seduce other women.

The second is sports. Work out at the gym for at least 2 hours every day. You can go to football or do long-distance races. But it’s even better to go in for boxing or wrestling - there you will quickly beat all the nonsense out of yourself.

If you start actively getting to know girls, doing at least 5-10 sets a day, you will forget your ex - if not in a couple of hours, then in a week for sure. Not in the sense that you will no longer remember who she is and what you had with her, it’s just that your feelings for her will cool down and you will begin to treat her like the most ordinary girl. Many guys do not want this, because they are rushing with a heady feeling of love and are warmed by the hope of returning their beloved. But remember that one feeling is always replaced by another, so in any case, heady love is guaranteed to you, only with a different, better girl.

1. No alcohol. Drinking, even moderate, only increases suffering and provokes you to inappropriate actions. Silence the inner discomfort from breaking up with sports and sex with other women;
2. other girls. Do not look immediately after parting with your beloved for the next girlfriend for life. Now your task is to drown out feelings with sex. Just fuck for your pleasure with many women - with all those who fall for you and you more or less like. Enjoy your freedom - no serious relationship;
3. No suffering. The former is not the best and not the only one. An ordinary girl, in some ways worse than many others. Remember how you felt about her before you met. What has changed since then? She gave you and was tender, spoke words of love? Yes, others can do the same. Moreover, she can be with a sexier figure, and cooking is tastier. A new partner is always better than the previous one - this is an axiom. Otherwise, after a breakup, people would never build relationships with anyone again.

Don't worry, you will also have a beautiful woman, and happy love, and family being, and stability. You just need to make an effort and all this can happen in a couple of days. Or years - if you continue to sour over the former. good girls actually a lot, a lot. In your city, on your street, there are dozens of them every day. Start meeting other girls, do it a lot and often, and you will see that there are many pretty young ladies around, much better than your ex, who will appreciate you much more than she does.

The phrase of the girlfriend becomes quite unpleasant: "Let's remain friends." This can happen both after a long relationship with her, and even before their onset. At any moment, a girl can decide to leave, which will be a bolt from the blue for a guy. How to get back your girlfriend who no longer wants to be with you?

This question remains relevant, because in our time, parting is common. You meet a girl, you love her, you cherish her, and she suddenly says that she wants to remain friends. It happens that a girl takes courtship for a long time, even lets her in, and then says that she is breaking up.

Looking back at past relationships, it's hard to find reasons why a girl says, "Let's be friends." It is stupid for a girl to say such a phrase to a guy who is clearly not in the mood for friendly relations with her. It’s even more stupid for the guy himself to immediately succumb to emotions and pretend that he can easily live without a girl.

If there is a desire to return the girl, despite the offensive words, then we will consider this topic in more detail on the website.

What should not be done if a girl says: "Let's be friends"?

After the relationship broke up and the girl says: “Let's remain friends,” internal anger and indignation arise. How can you remain friends after what happened between you? If you have not cooled down with feelings just like your ex-lover, then you are probably worried about the question of what needs to be done to get her back. Now we will discuss the topic of what not to do when a girl left you. After all, the most important mistake can be made not by returning, but by responding to parting.

The most common guy behaviors are:

• Complete ignore. The guy pretends that he is also satisfied with the breakup.
• Running after a girl, gifts and compliments. If a girl pushes a guy away, then the behavior of the guy when he intensively courts her will be too much.

These are two extremes that will not lead to good. Let us consider in more detail all the mistakes that should be avoided after breaking up with a girl:

1. Give gifts, compliments, apologize. This is called humiliation when a guy's girlfriend sends him off, and he continues to look after her like a faithful dog. The girl will be annoyed by the behavior of a guy who does not respect himself and is ready to crawl in front of her on his knees, if only she would come back to him.
2. Constantly call and text her. Exes can't be in constant contact if they don't have an ongoing relationship. The girl left you, left. It's time to stop calling her, writing messages, especially of a love nature. This is another way of humiliation that will only alienate the girl from you.
3. Cry in front of her. This can happen both literally and indirectly. If a guy shows himself as unhappy and needy, it only infuriates. Even more annoying is the situation when the guy begins to threaten: “If you don’t come back to me, then I will kill myself.” The girl can either laugh in the face, or take pity on the guy and return to him, but not for long and not seriously. In any case, the relationship will fall apart even faster, and the girl will finally be impossible to return after this.
4. Declaration of love. The girl who left the guy does not need his declarations of love in any form. This will annoy her even more and move her away from the guy. She can maintain contacts, but not succumb to love words.

Considering the mistakes of guys, one can note another most common one, which modern young ladies in their right mind and mind will not fall for. Let's talk about it further.

How to get your girlfriend back: do not say that everything will change

Psychologists say that you need to reconsider your behavior if you want to return your beloved girl who left the guy. However, it would be a mistake to behave when a guy, having only heard about his bad behavior, without thinking, starts throwing promises: “I'm sorry. It won't happen again. I promise you". Don't say everything will change. Why?

If you promise on emotions, without serious intentions to change something in the relationship, then you will briefly get along with your beloved, but she will quickly leave you as soon as she notes for herself that you have deceived her. If you promised, you must definitely change it! If you don't change anything, then the girl will leave you and next time she won't listen at all.

You can promise again that you will do everything to change your bad behavior. But now the girl will not believe your words, and will do the right thing: you promise without having conscious and serious intentions and desires to do so. Your goal is to get the girl back, win, not really improve your relationship.

No matter how much you promise, the girl will not believe you, because there is already a real experience of incontinence of the word. It's the same as if a girl promised you to lose weight if you married her. What is the connection between marriage and weight loss is illogical and incomprehensible. Just as you would not believe that the girl will really lose weight after the wedding, so she will not believe you that your relationship will improve if she returns to you.

Young people, more mature men and women also keep up with them, known for their transience of love. Today they love, and tomorrow they no longer feel this feeling. But it happens that the partners met for a long time, and then broke up for some reason. After that, one of them decides to return the former lover or sweetheart, but does not know how to do it.

How to get your love back? First, you should understand that if you were previously loved, but then stopped loving, it means that some circumstances contributed to this. There is love in your partner, but it constantly goes out for some reason. So, you just need to make sure that love for you flares up again.

Secondly, you should understand the reasons that extinguish the love of your partner. These reasons served as your parting. For what reasons did you break up? What made your partner leave you? Identify and start eliminating them.

Don't make one of the mistakes people make when trying to get back in a relationship: they run after their loved ones, but they don't work on what caused their breakup. But former partners are watching to see if people change. And if they don't change, then they don't see the point in rekindling the relationship.

Your task is not just to return your loved one, but also to show him that you have become different: what used to be a problem is no longer there, you have changed. You need to work out all those problem areas, because of which you constantly quarreled with your beloved, and change them. Your former partner needs to see that by resuming a relationship with you, she will not face again what previously annoyed you or led to conflicts. Therefore, change yourself and, as if by chance, show your new qualities to your former partner. You should not talk about them, but demonstrate them in appropriate situations. And when the ex sees your changes, she herself will want to return to you.

Renew feelings in your loved ones by eliminating your mistakes and the causes of your quarrels. Make it so that former lovers themselves want to return to you, and not because you were persistent. In the first case, they will stay with you for a long time, because they themselves have expressed a desire to be around. And in the second case, happiness will not last long - until your first quarrel.

You should consider tips on how to get your girlfriend back in order to be able to renew a relationship with her:

1. Accept her offer. She says, "Let's be friends." And you agree! This will be a shock to her, when she expected you to disagree and start running after her. In such a situation, when you break up, she will be interested in what you are doing, who is next to you now, what distracts you from thinking that she broke up with you.
2. Don't call her first, wait for her to call you herself. And in most cases, the girl who left the guy herself soon dials him on the phone to find out about his affairs. Here you can already control the situation. For example, you can say "I'm busy, let's call later." No need to talk about past relationships or feelings. Communicate on neutral topics, such as: how are you, what are you doing, what's new, etc.

Try not to tell her everything, it's better not to finish. Let her understand that she does not receive answers to her questions. At the same time, do not communicate with her for a very long time. As soon as there are pauses in the conversation, you should end the conversation. It is better to do it on your own initiative.

1. Start dating another beauty. She must be really beautiful or at least interesting to you. It's even better if your ex finds out that you're in a new relationship. Not only did she herself initiate the break in relations, because of which she lost a smart and interesting guy, he still doesn’t cry for her, but is passionate about something and even found himself another girl.

Often girls break up to be chased. Calm your ardor former theme that you will give her what she herself tried to achieve - loneliness away from you.

1. Get to a party where she and your mutual friends will be. Well, if the girl will be forced to see you in practice. It’s good if you change yourself by this time in the sense where she was dissatisfied with you. At the same time, do not try to run up to her and immediately tell her that you have changed. She herself must see that you have become different - the way she wanted to see you.

Chat with everyone at the party. Pay as much attention to your ex-girlfriend as you do to your other friends. Chat with her girlfriends, and with your friends, and with her. At the same time, behave like an acquaintance who does not think about her at all and does not miss her.

You can add “pepper” in order to bring your new passion to the party. Take care of her and be a gentleman so that the ex-girlfriend is simply stunned and jealous. She needs to see what she has lost, especially when "all the good" goes to some other girl.

Outcome

Girls are emotional beings. Today they want to stay friends with the guys, and tomorrow they already regret their decision. This effect is achieved when the guys do not run after those who dumped them, and also continue to live, meet new girls and even become better. The result of all the events - and the desire to restore the former relationship with the one that destroyed them herself.

Let's not forget about the mistakes that many guys make. If you do them, then you can forget that the former will return, because with each unsuccessful meeting she will understand that she definitely does not need a squishy and crybaby.

Sooner or later, many of us had to leave. Love passed, tomatoes withered, bridges were burned, ties were broken. Someone did it loudly, defiantly and irrevocably, and someone with a smile and hidden cunning said: “Let's remain friends!”

And girls do it, of course. Guys, even if they utter a fatal phrase, they usually try to soften an already biting blow. But by it they mean nothing and do not really offer friendship. It's an excuse, a kind of intelligent way of saying, "I don't love you, but that doesn't make you bad, you're still good."

A man can hardly imagine how you can count on a girl from the position of a friend, rely on her and trust her if he is already disappointed in her - from the position of a partner. She no longer lives up to his high standards. This means that he will not be able to "pull" the status of friendship, especially since he is already biased towards it.

But girls are different. The moment of closeness and intimacy only strengthens the confidence in the female mind that she will have a stronger connection with her ex-boyfriend after the relationship. She believes that once she shared a bed, an apartment, a way of thinking and future plans with a man, she mastered with him a complete understanding, which, in her opinion, is so important for two friends.

But this is all theory. In practice, the girl is not interested in consent and unanimity with her ex. She is interested in something completely different, which, at times, does not seem obvious to anyone - even to her.

And here's the thing.

“Let's be friends,” she says in order to have a back door in her arsenal. By keeping an ex on the bench, communicating with him, and keeping a close eye on his life, she gains a certain amount of power over his decisions, choices and beliefs. When a crisis occurs in her life, the girl uses her knowledge to ex-boyfriend gave her the attention she needed—and not just friendly attention. She flirts, plays the drama, but presents everything as a desire to receive the usual support, and not a strong, familiar shoulder.

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Staying with former friends after parting is fraught with the fact that a man will be under the influence of her "charms" for a very long time. He will have to explain to his "girlfriend" his new girls, laugh it off and feel a certain awkwardness during "slippery" conversations - which would not be the case with a real friend. And in moments of weakness (for example, intoxication or depression), this friendship is especially dangerous for both, because someone can accidentally blurt out too much: she is about why she needs him at all, and he is about how hard it is for him to maintain a balance in their new relationship.

A girl who breaks up with a guy, feeling insecure in freedom, will definitely try to keep this man "in reserve". Not in order to have an affair with him again or count on periodic, meaningless intrigues (although this cannot be ruled out either), but in order to hear from familiar lips in moments of doubt that she trusts that she is still hoo . This is a kind of weak attempt to assert itself.

Being in a relationship with a young man, the girl, as it were, internally proves to herself what she has achieved. She has a wonderful man who loves her, what else is needed for life. But as soon as they part, she loses the trophy. And girls love to collect awards - this is their hobby - and they don’t like it at all when they are taken away. Because they don't know how to lose. It is important for them to be the last to put an end: in a conversation, dispute, relationship. And they want to decide for themselves when they let their ex go.

But this behavior only emphasizes the fear that a woman feels before new life. She feels lost, lonely, unhappy, she probably does not yet have a replacement for her ex, so “let's remain friends” becomes a kind of staging post: neither love nor friendship, but it still contributes to self-confidence. Unfortunately, something really useful for both is rarely born from this phrase, usually such relationships are only destroyed by former partners, not allowing them to move on. And as a result, accept the pain, come to terms with it and use it as a valuable experience in the further development of the personality.

Of course, not all friendship proposals really carry double connotations. Sometimes this is a truly sincere desire to keep an important person in her life, and sometimes it is an unconscious reaction that a girl will understand only after a while. But anyway, "let's be friends" is said more often than it should.

A fairly large number of people at least once in their lives have heard the phrase: "let's remain friends." Such words can greatly unsettle and deal a tangible blow to self-esteem. Whether it is worth putting an end to your communication after that, or is it just a temporary obstacle, you need to figure it out.

This may imply several scenarios for the development of your relationship:

1. The complete absence of any intimacy.
2. A person culturally offers, is not seen at all.
3. Opportunity to leave, but on good terms.

reasons such a solution could be great amount. Sometimes these words sound like a bolt from the blue. May be you were so in love that did not notice existing problems. Now the main thing is to understand what and when it happened that the relationship ceased to be romantic or stopped altogether.

If these words came from a girl

ill-fated 3 words can be heard at any time throughout the relationship. It is always worth remembering that the representatives of the weaker sex unusual figurative thinking, which is sometimes completely inexplicable and incomprehensible. In this case, many can use the expression about female logic. Quite often, the representatives of the weaker sex think for a long time before making a final decision. not to offend you and not to cause a wave of negativity, the phrase comes to the rescue: "let's remain friends."

What to do to change everything?

To try to rekindle sympathy you need to do the whole operation. The first thing to do - break all contact with this person for at least six months, in case you were culturally thrown. It concerns not only personal meetings, but and phone and correspondence Try not to even answer incoming calls. Get over yourself in order to achieve the desired effect in the future. There is no full guarantee that after this time the relationship will resume, the main thing is that you change and do first steps into a new life.

take care of yourself, perhaps, change the style of clothing, communication and increase the circle of communication. Improve yourself, attend trainings, start playing sports, any changes will only increase the chances of reciprocity. When you next meet partner certainly will notice your reincarnation. When your relationship has smoothly flowed into a friendship, disappear for a few weeks and see if the person will seek to meet you.

If interest in you is renewed Now it's time to dictate your own rules. Make the person regret that he once rejected you, for example, make him jealous. Show that there are a lot of people around who also do not mind starting a relationship with you, and at this moment remind that you are what these scenes are for. Only don't overdo it so as not to alienate the person forever.

Another option

This method is not suitable for inexperienced people, in order for it to work you need to have willpower. It is included in systematic appearance and disappearance. When you hear the phrase: "Let's remain friends," agree. Especially, if on the horizon a new candidate for the role of the second half. It’s just that if you take the previous method, you may have nowhere to return, so you can’t lose connection. Here need to include "friend", and without any possible hints of something more. Friendship should not be sluggish, try to spend as much time as possible together, for example, go to exhibitions, find a common hobby. During this time, there should be a strong attraction.

Now let's move on to the second stage. When you notice interest to his person: constant calls, invitations for walks, it means everything is done right.. Now you have to leave, and completely disappear for a while. During this time, you can change, for example, change something in the image. You also need to bring your loved one back to life unexpectedly. Just come visit or call and ask for a walk, as if nothing had happened. When the contact is not broken, you should immediately try to transfer the relationship in a new direction, stop playing friendship. Touch casually, take a hand, any actions that will bring you closer together will do. At such moments, you will definitely feel whether the partner is ready to rise to the next stage of your relationship.